Love Is Blind

Chapter 5

The movie ended and they were left sitting in the quiet dark room. Jocelyn’s hand was still placed over top of Isaac’s. She looked at him and asked in a low voice;

“Isaac can I admit something to you?”

“Yeah, anything.” He whispered back.

“Ok.” She sucked in a breath before saying, “I’m scared.”

“Of what?”

“I have to go back to school after the summer is over.”

“School scares you?” He was surprised. She seemed outgoing and friendly. She was a nice girl and he had always thought she would be quite popular at school.

“Yes.” She paused, “A lot actually.”

“You’ll be ok.” He found himself squeezing her hand reassuringly. He wasn’t sure why school scared her so much but he could tell it was a real fear by the way her voice shook and her body went tense.

“You’re telling me exactly what you think I need to hear. You’re just like everyone else.” She pulled her hand away. Isaac was confused and hurt. He did not mean to say anything wrong. That was the last thing he wanted to do.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He whispered in a final attempt to fix things.

“it’s ok.” She sighed, “I’m just sick of everyone constantly telling me what they’re supposed to. I’d much rather them say that it will probably suck but I have to do it. I want people to tell me how it is. I want them to say, ‘you will hate it but there’s nothing else you can do.’”

He was silent for a second, “Fine. It will suck and you’ll hate it but you have to do it.”

“Thanks.” She said even though it didn’t make her feel any better.

“What is it about school that you hate so much anyways?”

“School is the reason I’m so screwed up!” He didn’t push her into an explanation but she told him anyways, “School was the reason I thought I wasn’t worth it. School was the reason I thought I needed to be someone else. School was the reason I thought I wasn’t pretty. School was the reason I stopped eating. School was the reason I quit play. School was the reason my grades dropped. School was the reason I spent my summer in the hospital. School is the reason I still have scars on my wrists.”

The room lapsed into silence. He could hear her get up and start pacing around the room. “I’m an idiot. I’m so damn worthless. Why do I even try?” She spat the words with such self-hate it almost scared Isaac. He was stunned into a silence where even if he did know what to say his voice didn’t seem to work. He heard her suddenly rush out of the room and slam the door behind her.

It was silent again.

Isaac wasn’t sure how long she was gone for. It could have been minutes. It could have been hours. It was hard for him to tell but when she came back she was quiet. The door opened with a small creak and her feet shuffled across the floor. Isaac felt her sit back down next to him. The room was still dark when she sucked in a breath.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered.

“It’s ok.” He whispered back.

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.”

She stayed silent.

He stayed silent too.

“Isaac?”

“Yes.”

“Do you think I’m stupid now?”

“No.”

“You can leave if you want.”

“I don’t want to leave.”

“Ok.”

Even without any talking Jocelyn felt safe. She didn’t know what it was about Isaac but he didn’t make her feel small or useless nor did he make her feel out of place or too overbearing. She felt like she was supposed to be here. It was like she was meant to be sitting her right now. It was a weird feeling but not a bad one.

“Isaac?” She asked again.

“Yeah?” He responded.

“Do you think I’m pretty?”

“Yes I do.”

She turned to face him and with a small giggle she said, “But you can’t see me.”

“I don’t need to see you to know that you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met.” A small smile formed on Jocelyn’s face and her eyes threatened to let loose tears. She wasn’t upset. This must be what it feels like to be so happy you wanted to cry, she thought to herself, that’s never happened to me before. She then leaned her head against his chest. She could hear his heartbeat speed up at her contact. Isaac then wrapped his arms around her. He felt her body heat and the material of her shirt against his skin. She had a small frame. She was so small it was almost worrisome. He’d never noticed that before. She closed her eyes and let the few tears roll down her cheek.

They stayed like that for another hour. It didn’t feel like a waste of time. Being anywhere but here would be a waste of time.

“I could kiss you right now.” Isaac said under his breath.

“Then do it.” She shifted upwards so that her face was lined up with his. Isaac took his hands off of her back and ran them up her arms until he found her neck. Then he carefully placed his hands on either side of her face. He could feel her soft skin pulled tightly over her cheekbones that seemed to jump out of her face. Her cheeks reddened and heat coursed through her body. She leaned in slowly and tentatively until her forehead was pressed to his. Their lips then connected. It was a slow soft kiss. It was nothing too much. It was nothing too little. It was perfect.