I can't breathe without you

He knows my little secret

I slowly walk back from the bathroom,bragging my jacket on the floor. I drop the jacket at the end of my bed and curls up in the blanket. I wipe my eyes as that I'm still crying. I was getting ready to put on my headphones when someone knocked on my door. I quickly picked up my jacket and throw it on. "Who is it?" I yelled so who ever it was could hear me. "It's Roman, can I come in?" He sounds a little off of his regular voice. "Sure." I quickly turn off my music. The door slowly opens as Roman walks in. "God it's like a dark and stormy night in here!!!" He's voice was shaking. "Here." I throw his blanket back to him. "So you finally give it back!" He smiles and raps it around his muscular body. Please tell me I'm not drooling! God, what a body! I set on my bed as he sat on my bed. "May I ask why you are here?" I move in closer. "I was walking by your room and I heard a little yell, I thought you were watching a scary movie but then I remembered that you don't usually watch movies unless it's with us." You can hear the worry in his voice. "Why did you yell a little?" He takes some of his blanket and raps me up with him. TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL! Tell him what you did! He'll help!!! N-no! Be quiet! Don't say anything! Just be cool and tell him! My head is going crazy and I'm feeling light headed and eventually I lay down on Roman and started having a mental breakdown. He held me though it all. He told me to breathe and close my eyes. To relax and calm down. He grabbed a trash can and thank god he did. I threw up a lot and was still crying. I wiped my mouth and he held me close. "Virgil, what's wrong?" He held my arm that I cut and it began to burn and I pulled away. We stared at eachother for a little. "Virg, d-did you-" he's voice was shaking. He grabbed my arm and pulled down my sleeve reviling my open, scabbed,and scared cuts. I grabbed the back of his shirt, and shoved my face into his stomach. None of the sides have never seen me cry like this. I can feel Roman staring at my arm. "w-why?!" he said dramatically. Why? That's been like one of the biggest mystery in my life. I have reasons to why I do stuff. I just have no idea how to tell people. If I tell him he's going to think I'm crazy! No don't tell him! What if he actually cares? Should I really tell him? NO! STOP THINKING!! JUST STOP! God, my head hurts! As people already know that I really hate myself and I'm pretty sure you can tell why. I guess that's my answer to his question. The words to continue this conversation. "I-I hate m-myself!" I trying to talk though my tears. I can feel his over reacting coming. He didn't over react. " Virgil, there is no way in the world to hate yourself." he held onto me holding me close to his chest. I can hear his heartbeat, calm but scared. "Thomas wouldn't be Thomas without you. Without you who would be Patton's dark strange son. Without you who would logan look after when we're in Patton's room. I wouldn't be excited to play the role in a huge play; if it wasn't for you. Virgil you have a role in everyones play, you're the person who makes everyone; better. You make us better,you're a narrator to a confusing scene." he said all of this very calmly. He calmed me down with his voice. I'm not crying anymore, I'm just laying there. I feel his hand move to my face. He placed his index finger under my chin, and lifted me up to his eye level. Once we we're eye to eye I feel his hand move up my face. Four fingers behind my ear and one right in front of my ear. He was holding the back of my head. He place his forehead on mine. The urge was to strong. I didn't even think. I raped my arms around his neck and started to rub my head against his. He grabbed the back of my head and rubbed back. I feel so calm and warm,so comfortable. I want to tell him so bad! Tell him I love him! Welp,here goes nothing! "r-roman?" I clinch onto the top of the back of his shirt. "what is it?" he moved both of his hands to my back pushing me up against him. All I'm thinking about is how he's embrace was so warm. I started to blush intensely so instead of talking I just hugged him tightly. "virgil what is it?" he hugged tightly back. I'm trying to talk but the words just won't come out. "breathe virgil." he said slowly. "y-you know what, never mind." I said quickly. We move apart, breaking the embrace as someone was knocking on my door. "kiddos? You guys in there?" Patton continues to knock softly on my door. I quickly start pulling down my sleeve and Roman was watching my every step. He placed his hand on top of my sleeve and looked into my eyes like he was going to tell my future. "calm down." he started to rub my arm. "kiddos?!" Patton knocks harder. Roman looked at the door then back at me. " it's okay hot topic." he whisper to me. Roman walked up to my door and open it to reveal Patton running in. Patton stops and stare at me. "is that Roman's blanket?" he pointed at me. I forgot I was raped up in the blanket. "it's very cold in here so I let him use it." Roman quickly came up with that. "it is cold in here. Why don't you guys come down stairs?" Patton looked at both of us. "virgil wanna go down stairs?" Roman looks so concerned. I don't want him to be worried about me.