TJL#12#Princess Of Fairy Tale

Heartbeat

Natasha's POV

I don't know what is happening around me. I don't know if I am dead or not. I felt my head paining like hell. I tried to open my eyes but I was not able to do so. There was pain and pain. My eyes were heavy. I felt something touched softly on my forehead and on my hand. Someone was rubbing my hand softly. But I couldn't open my eyes. I dozed off again. Black consumed me. I don't know for how long I was in this this state. I don't know if I am alive or dead. I don't know.

Why will I live now?! I don't have a reason to live. My Christian left me. Can I live without him?! My heart said.

You are being selfish, Natasha. You should live for your family. Your dad, your mom, your brother and the most importantly your twin. You know if something happens to you, she will kill herself without any hesitation. Can you think how will your family suffer then?! Did you forget about Hailey?!! Did you forget how Alan suffered losing Hailey?! How your Uncle and Aunt was devastated that time!!! Do you want Noel and your parents have the save fate!!! Don't be selfish. Just for once think about them. This was my brain. Both was fighting with each other.

My brain was right. Even if I am a shell of a human I have to live for my family. I have to live for them. I can't be selfish. I can't let my family suffer like this. I have to live I have to. But for now I need sleep. I really need it. I closed my eyes tightly and let sleep overtake me. I need to take out myself. I need to hold back.

Christian, I love you. I can't live without you. But I can't even die. My family needs me. Will you forgive me for not coming with you?! I will never be able to give this place to anyone else. I am sorry. Please, forgive me. I loved you, I love you and I will always love you. Always till my last breath. I will always cherish you. Your love and heart will always be here with me in my heart safe and sound. I will not let them go away, I will not let them die, I won't let anyone take you away from my soul. I was yours, I am yours and I will always be yours. No one will be able to take my heart and soul. They belong to you. My love is pure and true. If you ever knew how deep my love is for you. I am sorry. I gave you all my luck but I couldn't save you. I am not lucky. I couldn't save you. I couldn't do it. I am sorry.

" I swear I love you. I want you back. Can you come back to me. Can you please come back to me? Please?" I said softly to myself closing my eyes.

" I am here. Open your eyes." I heard his voice from my heart. Yes, he is alive in my heart.

" I am sorry." I said.

" You don't have to be sorry. Why are you saying sorry?" He asked and I felt he was kissing my forehead. I smiled. Am I dreaming or hallucinating!!! Whatever it is, it's just beautiful. I don't want to wake up. I want to stay like this forever where I can listen to him and I can feel him, I can see him closing my eyes. I don't want anything else. I just want this moment last forever. I will cherish them. I know my eyes were watering. Why am I crying when I can still feel him?!! I shouldn't cry. I should be happy that he didn't left me.

" I love you. Please, don't leave me. Please don't go away. Please stay, please talk to me. Please call me Babe. I miss you. I miss you so much." I said inside my heart.

" Babe, I am not going anywhere. I love you more than anything else in this world. I will never leave you until my last breath." He said. I felt him saying softly in my ears and kissed on it softly.

" Last breath?! But you are not alive." I said.

" Why don't you open your eyes and see what is truth?" He asked me caressing my cheek.

" No, I don't want to open my eyes. You will disappear." I said.

" Trust me, Babe. I won't." He said very very softly. If only he wasn't saying that inside my heart I would have never heard him.

" I can't breathe properly. I can't open my eyes. There is pain." I said. I did want to open my eyes. I didn't want to let him go. I wanted to be in this illusion. It's lie but this lie is making me happy. I want to live in this lie. As long as I can.

" Where? Where is this paining?" He asked me.

" My head. It is blasting. But you know where. It is hurting the most?" I asked in my heart and felt his fingers on my hair pressing my scalps softly to soothe it. I felt heaven. Am I really in heaven?!

" Where Babe?" He asked softly.

" In my heart. It's weeping blood. You can see it now, right?" I said. He didn't said anything just felt his lips on my eyes.

" Will you open your eyes for a second?" He asked me.

" Please don't tell me to open my eyes. I want to live in this illusion for some time long. Who knows if I can feel you like this ever again or not. Please let me stay here." I said.

" Please, Babe. Please. For a second. For me. Can you open your eyes?" He said softly. More like pleaded.

" Will you come back again when I close my eyes?" I asked him.

" Any time you need me." He said.

" Promise?" I asked. I needed a promise. That meant a lot to me.

" I promise." He said and I felt he kissed my forehead. I felt his tears on my forehead.

" Are you crying?" I asked.

" Please open your eyes. Please, Babe. Don't kill me like this." I heard his voice from so close. One moment I believed that he was there for real. But I know he will disappear once I open my eyes.

" I love you. I will die if I can't feel you." I said.

" You will feel me. Just open your eyes for once." He begged. I sighed. I slowly opened my eyes. I closed at once the light was too much for my eyes to bear. I blinked a few times and opened my teary eyes. My vision was blurry. I saw someone sitting in front of me holding my hands. I blinked few times more to see the person clearly. As I saw the person my heart skip thousands of beats.

" Christian!!!" I clutched his hands tightly. I don't want to let him go.

" Babe?" He pulled me into a hug I could feel his broken and wet voice.

" Where are we, Christian? In heaven?" I asked him.

" No, Babe. We are in hospital." He said.

" Hospital? Is this an illusion too?" I asked and broke the hug. I looked at him and touched his heart which was beating and assuring he was alive. We were definitely in heaven. I thought then I was black out again with intense pain in my head.

I love you Christian. I love you so much. I mumbled before black consumed me completely but his heartbeat was there. I can feel them so close to me. It was only thing I could feel until everything shut around me. It's beautiful, his heartbeat.