photograph ↛ larry au

[2]

loving can hurt sometimes, but it's the only thing that i know.

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harry tried to stop the tears that streamed down his face but it was no use.

it was an 11 hour flight, which he spent listening to the playlist louis made for him a month ago.

he couldn't even talk to anyone, his band members liam and niall were asleep, his manager busy making some phone calls in a separate area of the plane. the only person to talk to was the flight attendant but her voice was too high for harry's liking.

not the soft melodic high that louis' voice was; it was the kind of high that made you put in your headphones and blast the volume.

it also didn't help that the sky reminded harry of the blue in louis' eyes. the way his eyes changed with the weather, or his emotion.

harry was just so damn tired of seeing the same blue for the past 2 hours. no depth, no blend of colors. not like louis' eyes; nothing could compare to his eyes.

harry dropped his head and watched the tears splatter on his shirt, the shirt that louis had cried into 6 hours ago.

crying. that's all they seem to be doing.

every year, on the first day of november, they have to say goodbye. and harry hated doing that to louis. he knew it was his fault louis was alone for his birthday and christmas. he knew it was his fault that louis spends almost half the year crying.

harry realized he kept thinking about louis, some part of him hoped lou was thinking of him, too. but a bigger part hoped that Louis was off having fun, working in the vinyl store that he loved. but he knew louis, more than he cared to admit, that's why he knew louis was miserable right now. and that crushed him.

he wished he could give louis more; it wasn't fair that their love was the thing hurting them.

they loved each other so much, that breathing was difficult when they weren't together.

but they just couldn't stop loving, even if it destroyed them. love was all they had.

it wasn't fair to him or louis.

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louis sat there for an hour, replaying their voice message recording. he listened to harry's voice echo throughout the empty flat.

"hey, you've reached harry,"
"and louis,"
"considering that you're hearing this, that means we didn't answer so feel free to leave a message after the beep, and we'll call back." "if we aren't too busy snogging."

it continues and in the background you can hear harry quietly say, "oh gosh, lou" followed by his loud laugh.

"what? they'll love it." he replied.

and then it was cut off by a loud obnoxious beep that made louis hit the end button quickly.

just to start the message over again, hating the silence of their big room.

harry managed to call during his little free time he had boarding the plane, the call just saying "i love you" s and talking about the picture they were both looking at at the same time.

but their call was interrupted by an annoyingly high voice asking him to please turn his phone to airplane mode.

louis of course made a comment about the pitchy voice, harry let out a rushed laugh and agreed. the silence went tense, both not wanting to hang up, knowing that the next time they talked would be in 12 hours.

"i love you."

"i love you."

and then harry was gone; it killed louis but he had to say the goodbye first, he knew that harry had to leave.

he wanted harry to be lying with him right now, laughing at some stupid thing louis said. he wanted so badly to hear his barking laugh right now with him right here; not on some voicemail machine.

but no matter how much he missed harry, he could never ask him to stay. singing was his dream. it would kill him to know that he was the one holding harry back.

louis loved harry so much, and if he had to deal with 4 months of solitude for his boyfriend, then so be it.

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a/n

i warned you that it would get emotional

there will be happy larry in this story too don't worry :D

hope you liked it

comment/ vote/ share? love you

kayla