photograph ↛ larry au

[4]

and if you hurt me, that's okay baby, only words bleed.

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it's been 2 weeks since harry left.

louis tried to distract himself, he did. but if he went for a drive to clear his mind he ended up thinking about the exact curls he was trying to forget (his thoughts were a complicated maze and every twist or turn led to a dead end aka harry)

sitting and doing nothing may be fun when your hair is getting pet by your boyfriend but it's torturous when you're alone. so louis stared at the ceiling by himself and thought about how he went hours doing this with harry. he realized that that's who harry was, he made nothing, something. even laying in silence had meaning. and here louis was practically clawing the thin blanket to pieces out of boredom.

watching tv to past time was hell when one directions new movie trailer was on every damn commercial break. he didn't change the channel because louis couldn't even see the remote control through his teary eyes.

working was a waste; before, louis would send a snapchat to harry when one of his favorite songs came on the radio, a video of him bobbing his head to one of the front bottom's songs or him rolling his eyes when one direction's newest single was played throughout the store, but now he ran to the aisle where they kept their handy dandy listening stations and shoved the headphones on, picking some random vinyl and blasting the volume.

it left louis no other choice, he had to go to zayn's. he hated staying over because louis always felt like a needy baby. but four months! that was a long time and sooner or later louis would end up on zayn's doorstep.

it was sooner than he hoped.

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harry was impatiently drumming  his fingers on the table. it was 1:30 and he was over this meeting, currently talking about their new perfume ad. he just wanted to get back to his hotel room, to louis. it was friday which meant they were facetiming at two in the afternoon. (which was 10 at night for louis (harry really hated time zones.))

they actually had to schedule their calls to monday, wednesday, and friday at two; harry was so busy. their new movie, new united states tour, new perfume, new album coming up. it was all so much.

and sometimes harry couldn't even make it to the hotel room on time to call louis.

harry was just glad he could count on zayn to distract his lovebug. harry was just glad that zayn could be there when harry couldn't. when actually he wasn't all that glad, but jealous.

he'd never say that he wished he wasn't famous, because that was far from the truth. he loved it, being on stage and seeing the loving crowd was the best feeling in the world. harry sometimes thought back to the "before xfactor days" and he missed it, but as soon as he heard the crowd, saw a cute tweet, or met a fan, he instantly remembered why he wanted this all his life.

so as soon as they were dismissed from the boring meeting, harry hurried to his car, passing the screaming fans. he saw a sign pressed to the window that read

'we've waited all morning to meet you. we love you so much, please!'

and harry being harry, despite his massive headache and tired voice, called for two body guards and went out of the double doors and into the sea of girls.

he signed, hugged, and took pictures until the fans were content. and harry was beyond tired and all he could see was flashing of cameras. but he loved his fans, wouldn't be where he was if it wasn't for them. so he smiled for iphones and accepted letters and gifts. it was the least he could do.

harry was so out of it when he finally got into his car he instantly fell asleep. and he dizzily climbed the staircase, drunkenly pushed and pulled his key card in the door and collapsed on his bed. only staying awake long enough to toe off his beaten boots and throw his fedora on the ground.

maybe if he had stayed awake a little longer, harry would have looked at the clock. he would've seen it was now four and he would've called louis and explained and apologized and said "i love you" a million times.

but he didn't.

and now, louis was crying himself to sleep with his phone in his hand, just in case.