Losing It (ON HOLD)

Chapter 4

Song of the day: Monster by Imagine Dragons.

Luna's POV:

I saw him. Not Jack, but Sammy. He saw me. I wanted to scream at him again, I wanted to beat the shit out of him. I'm a different person from the person I used to be. I wanted to slap him and get all my anger out.

I'm a train wreck because of him. I'm going to die because of him. And I want him to feel the same pain that I was feeling now. When he called my name my eyes instantly turned blue with fear. I feared that Jack was with him. If I saw Jack I don't know what I'd do. First I'd probably slap him, then I would kiss him. But I didn't, I wouldn't. Even if I wanted to.

Once he called my name the second time and starred right into my eyes, I knew I needed to go. I didn't want to talk to him. I would've just turned invisible or something like that to get away, but I couldn't. There were to many people around.

So when the doors opened I pushed past everyone and ran as fast as I possibly could to get far away from him. I didn't want to see him, I didn't want to talk to him, and I defiantly didn't want him to talk to me, ever, again.

So I ran towards the cemetery. The same cemetery I saw Jack last. I found Jack Johnson's grave and sat down by it, hoping that jack wouldn't be out today.

I started to talk to Jack, even though I never knew him, I still talked to him. Even though I wasn't talking to someone alive, who could talk back, I let all my anger out and told Jack Johnson about it. I felt bad though, for Jack Johnson. He was innocent from what I had heard and he wasn't to supposed to die.

I wish my parents were buried somewhere in a grave yard, but I doubt that. Bart probably dissolved there limp body's in the acid that he used for so many innocent people. I wish that I could come and talk to them even if they were six feet under. But everything happens for a reason.

Sometimes I wish I were just a normal person, that I was born without these dumb powers. That I wasn't born to be the keeper. That I was born a normal girl, in a small town, I went to school, had friends, grew up and had something going for me. But this happened. I grew up in a gang, a violent one for that fact. And I grew up knowing that I would develop a power, and that people would try and use me. That people would try and kill me, and I couldn't do anything about it.

I had my parents taken from me as a young child. I lived out on the streets alone at an early age, I had to live with little money, and nobody. But I grew up and fell in love with this boy. This boy that wasn't like normal boys his age. This boy that had to make big decisions to keep him and his large group of family members that weren't even blood related, safe. He had to learn to fight, to learn not to get attached. He had to learn that love is hard and that life is even harder, but he stayed strong enough, brave enough to do it. And boy, did he do it.

I fell in love with a boy very fast. I never believed on love before I met him, before my first kiss. I trusted this boy and I loved him. I knew he loved me back, but you do stupid things for love. Very stupid things for love. You tell lies for love, you hurt other people for love, you try your hardest for love. But love is something that doesn't last, because we all make mistakes. But one big mistake could change your feelings for that person you had learned to love. And mistakes take away trust, but after trust is taken and after love is taken, there is nothing left there, except hatred.

And hatred isn't something you can contain, it isn't that kind of feeling you cant hold inside. It's something you have to deal with, and it's not easily tamed. Hate isn't something you can fix with a snap of your fingers, it's something that takes time to fix. But once it's fixed it goes to sadness, and sadness breaks your heart. And fixing your heart is hard, it's like broken glass, but you've lost all the pieces.

I'm sorry to all of the people I've pushed away now. I'm sorry for Jack, I'm sorry for Sam, I'm sorry for all of them. But most of all I'm sorry for Rixton, for he had to see me at my worst, he has tried to help me thought it. But I just don't know if I'm brave enough to do it.

And I would completely understand if he wanted to just kick me out, leave me to fend for myself, I was so used to that feeling. But he doesn't, and that how I know that I can trust him, that I can live him like I loved my brother so long ago........