Chickenhouse Chronicles, European Sojourn, 1937-'38

Daughters and Gaufres

To the folks who follow my grandmother's story--sorry I haven't posted for a few weeks. It's been a busy spring, I recently did a new book release, and was guest speaker at our local Memorial Day Remembrance service. To read more go to http://www.wendellaffield.com/ or listen to this interview: http://kaxe.org/term/wendell-affield#stream/0

And so, back to my grandmother's diary and scrapbook--the reader begins to glimpse my mother's erratic behavior. As I published this it once again struck me--this narrative was written 81 years ago.

December 1, 1937:

Such a day with Barb [my future mother]. She does not seem to improve. Whatever shall I do with her? She sets upon Polly and me whenever she feels like it for not good reason. Mary Louise de Groote went with me and we discussed the best thing to do with her with M.B. [M. Bosquet, Barb's instructor at the Conservatoire]. He didn't seem to have a very good solution except that he is going to do his best to make her cut down her hours of work, eat more regularly, change occupations, and sleep more. After, we had coffee in a rather dull little place. Then went to the Metropole to study; I felt too punk for that but didn't feel like coming home and having to see Barb. I hope we can get at the bottom of this some time. After French class I went for coffee with a girl from Baltimore. She has been to John's Hopkins and has the university here. I'm going to try for it for Barb.

This Dec 1st entry is very revealing; Elsie--my grandmother--records several issues that are plaguing Barb: Rage, work—practicing piano too many hours per day, possible eating disorder (Barb always struggled with her weight), lack of sleep. The second sentence, "She does not seem to improve" indicates that this violence is on-going.

Thur, Dec 2, 1937:

I mustn't take coffee any more at night because I am not sleeping so well—worry over Barb I guess. We seem to be making no progress with her happiness. She has everything she wants in the way of music and yet she is not happy. A lovely Thé [tea] at Mme Meyer's at four to meet Mme Middler (Mary Ann's mother). She is very pleasant and we had a splendid time.

DSM-5 describes borderline personality disorder (BPD) as "A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts---." As the reader has seen, Barb manifests these symptoms. They will escalate.

Fri, Dec 3, 1937:

Spent the day getting Polly's things ready for another party. She seems to have many and is so gay about them. This time another boy gave a party—quite contrary to American customs where the girls always give the parties. Polly wore her light blue taffeta and looked adorable. Had her hair set and took a taxi to stay all night with Mary Ann. Barb and I went to Troisieme De Face—La Boheme. I originally had tickets to give a theatre party for it before Polly's party was planned. The seats were bad though I had paid more for them. I like opera here better than the Metropolitan in New York.

1937-12-03 Ticket

Sat, Dec 4, 1937:

I slept late because I wrote until three o'clock in the morning. I wasn't sleepy. Barb asked for beef steak so I got her some in spite of turkey dinner tonight. Shopped in afternoon mostly for Barb—bought her a Brussels lace collar for her black velvet dress. She played the piano late so we taxied to the Meyers for dinner. A wonderful turkey dinner perfectly delicious— champagne and after, Cointreau & coffee. Mrs. Meyer very jolly. We all laughed and joked a lot. Fred & Mary Louise there besides ourselves and themselves.

Sun, Dec 5, 1937:

A cold snowy, rainy day. Polly and I slept until eleven then I brought her a tray. Gerta came to dinner with us after which Polly and Gerta went to the Symphony Palais de Beaux Arts, invited by Sophie's mother. Barb also went. I stayed home and wrote Xmas letters but not enough.

Mon, Dec 6, 1937:

Wrote Xmas letters and went to town early to shop for Henry and the Davises—the only packages outgoing to send. The shops almost empty because it is "St. Nicholas Day." All the children at their toys and all the gift windows are gone. The shops look like Jan. 1 at home but strange to say they celebrate Noël also.

Tue, Dec 7, 1937:

Gala letter day—Queen Mary in. Polly got three. I got a fat one from Henry. Awful news—Ben Myers died. These old men never seem to live long after their second marriage. It's a shame. He seemed in such fine health when we left. Marie will miss him so. He was a wonderful man. Uncle Horace is better. Barb is not. She wouldn't write a Xmas note to her father. I'm beside myself to know what to do to cure her of her mental unhappiness. Met dear Polly and her friends down town and it cheered me a lot. We had a delicious Thé at the Coupe Glacee.

Wed, Dec 8, 1937:

Wrote Xmas letters. Went to Am. Exp. to get my money but it hadn't arrived. They are never as quick as Henry. Polly 40 minutes late to meet me at Coupe Glaƈee for gaufres and made me late for my French class. The teacher is excellent—I hope I get something out of it. After, a nice looking man tried to follow me home. It certainly is rare the way they speak to you at any time here.

Gaufres are delicate, rich, Flemish waffles. The recipe was first published in 1740 and is a specialty in northern France and western Belgium.

1937-12-08 Polly's favorite place for Gaufres