My Trip to Wonderland

Chapter 3

It's cold inside not on the outside, I'm just so cold and so numb. Trying to escape was hopeless, I needed hope to be set free, I just couldn't feel the hope. I even lost determination. I don't have dreams anymore just blank thoughts in my sleep. I thought it was a dream but when I woke up I was still in that room trapped in vines. I was weak and everyone else was strong, I gave up so easily, the worst bit is I can't feel disappointment for the numbness in me. All I can feel is the dreaded cold weakening me. It was a test of strength and sanity for me. I was hanging over the edge and about to let go, fall down into the pool of insanity. We all hang over the edge at times, some more dangerously than others. Then once you let go and fall, there is not going back, the monster inside takes over, the human side is gone, we do things we never meant to and usually end up dead.

I couldn't let go of sanity I just had to keep fighting. I was already half monster, I just couldn't go full, ever. Then it was like a hand helped me up from the edge, getting away the numbness taking away the pain, they brought hope and the hope blossomed to happiness. I smiled under the veins, I warmed up. As I looked about the dark, it was just a beautiful melody. It hid the truth, deep within the truth was also the light and there will always be light. Next thing that happened was pretty weird, light shone through the vines destroying them, the light was coming from me. It was burning the vines, taking them away. I was free, hope kept me free, but nothing ever really lasts.

I heard clapping in the shadow of the room, stepped out was a tall figure covered in black, his white skin beautiful with the black. Finally I could see his face, I feel like he was wearing contacts and got plastic surgery. On his face was a cats smile ad his eyes are like a cats green eyes. He looked beautiful but evil, who knew something could seem so beautiful and evil at the same time. "Well isn't it our new celebrity." His statement was confusing and threatening. New celebrity, okay now I was dreaming, my mind was just making up I was the celebrity in a completely dark world.

I actually couldn't believe I spoke, I haven't heard my voice in so long, it felt like years. "What you mean new celebrity, cat ?" Wow hold up a second I just talked, I know what your thinking why is this such a big deal well I'll tell you why, I've been silenced  since last year. Its not that I wanted to, I just woke up one day and when I tried to talk I couldn't, this is the first time I have since then. The doctor said my brain has went into a dramatic shock and has stopped me from talking and there was nothing we could do to make me talk again. I usually used a notepad to chat, I didn't have it on at the moment though. Then I knew this was some horrific nightmare showing I am crazy.

"No, this is not a dream, don't be all this is a dream I don't believe this on me. You would just be going against what you stand for. I'm real and so is here, welcome to hell, in other words Wonderland." Wait how did he know what I was thinking and I was going against what I stand for, he was right, all this time I wouldn't believe here was real. I had to face the music and dance, this was wonderland and I was talking. This wasn't like the books or the movie's , even though I haven't saw barely any of it I know its dark. "Well this is different and why have you brought me here?" At that he smirked his face looking smug. I wanted to prance over looking delicate and pretend I kicked him, it would be fun.

Kicking, hurting, pain, this all reminded me of a time I wanted to die. Death seemed sweeter than life, with the constant bullying and unfairness of it all. As I tied the rope, I said my last good bye's, no one was on line so at least they couldn't stop me. It was on my bunk bed, what a way to go on your bed. The pain was like a creature causing it, it was hidden inside lashing out, suicide was the puppet master in this game. In the end I was loosing, as suicide attached the strings, I was not in control any more, what ever I did was the doing of suicide as the puppet master. I was just another puppet he could play with, or so I thought. As my legs moved and arms got myself ready. They joined to finally end me, the puppet master and the monster. The rope burned my skin like a burning fire en golfing me, already welcoming to hell.

Just before I was about to end something happened, my friend burst through the door. "God damn it, GET DOWN NOW!!" Her voice was raised but cracked as she ran towards me, I could see the hurt, worry and anger in her eyes, it crushed me to see that I caused that. I wanted to jump at the last second but she grabbed me and held me tight, so tight I couldn't breathe. As she held on, I could feel the monster go away and the strings fade. She warmed me, she warmed my heart. We both burst out crying into each others arms. She was crying for almost loosing me and I was crying for giving up and letting the master take me in strings so easily like others did. Then again he can be quite convincing, he was luring me in to sell death another life to make death stronger. 

I woke out of my thoughts to a very strained question. "Why would you do it Rosy?" Well the answer was easy but I could not tell her my answer because I will get checked again for craziness, and I was fed up with check ups to be honest. She already knew I had them, like the rest it was hard for her to see what I saw. I stared blankly at her and she sighed. "Your amazing, we all are, we are amazing for talking breathing and moving, we are all so lucky for what we have, never give that up, Rosy, ever." She is such a good friend and I wish she was here now.

"Well, well, well what a pity you didn't give into the puppet master because now he plans something more suffering for you. It's quite funny really he wants you to beg death to take you away, give you your first and last kiss, the kiss of death." His voice was so sinister and cruel, I thought cats were cute, but he was no cat he was a man who resembled one, too bad he wasn't as nice as one. I looked up at his sinister smile, I bet this was my next challenge against death, to face the cat within. "You know death has a plan for that friend too, he said she would die as painful as you are, too bad she'll never realise your the one to kill her." His voice was taunting, he wants me to break he wants to feed off my negatives, I could not give in. The master is planning but no one is my master, I control myself and I would never kill her.

"Shut up, weather you like it or not,  we are all above you will obey us all, including me." He was so threatening and so worrying. He seemed to have a strong and forceful aura, one thing was for sure, I was trapped and I had to fight him and everyone else.