Love creates dependence

Addicted to you

Time passed, as well as the group of people around me started to become smaller and smaller by the day. I somehow wanted to isolate myself from the others, just to find what's right for me. Most of them called me weird, stupid and so on. Even the feeling of love was almost gone in the past years, until I saw one girl. First thoughts were pessimists, as usual. I talked to her, and it was for the first time when I had some kind of emotions. I tried not to give her any impressions or thoughts that I might like her, or anything like that, but as usual I failed. While chatting, my hands were shaking, it never happened before. Again, thoughts and fear were somehow controlling me. All night she was on my mind, if she likes me in one way or another, if I'm gonna love again, wich were weak chances, or at least that's how I tricked my mind to think so. The next day, she did gave me some signals that she might like me, so I ignored them, maybe she didn't meant to write me those messages. A few hours later, while I was in the car, she just asked me if we're gonna be together. The smile instantly was on my face, that moment I felt some kind of happiness, even now can't figure it out what was that feeling. Days pass, and we felt more and more happy with each other. Of course any relationship has arguments, but we stayed mad at each other even at the smallest thing, that's what at least I adore the most. She.. She's not like the others, this kind of love I had never experienced. After all broken promises everyone gave me, lies, and so on, it was for the first time I could imagine being near someone for the rest of my life. Our first big argument was my fault, as usual. Jealousy always ruined me. I tried to change that, but without results. When we first talked on facetime, I was so scared, I'm not the most beautiful, either most ugly, but mostly I was afraid she wouldn't like me as the person I am now. No one looked at me the way she does, her eyes, all she got in her look made me a little more confident. We started to sleep nights on facetime. If I could choose not to sleep ever again, and just look at her how she sleeps, that's what I would definitely choose. Even though I still don't know what she sees in me, I only know that the love for her will never die.