Depressing Poetry From A Depressing Boy.

i will never be like you.

I will never be like you.

I will never have the body you are in, the dark beautiful tan that covers your smooth skin, the muscles that shape your arms and legs, the flatness that starts at your chest and makes it's way down to your existing pelvic bone, in which all adds to your masculine taste.

I will never have the personality you own, the freedom you have, the jokes you tell would never come to my mind, the pride you take in your opinions, the fake happy aura you give off certainly doesn't match my real aggressive anger that feeds off every little thing.

I will never have your traits that scream your name. Like how you react to funny moments, or what it is you truly find funny, or how you read a book and memorize every quote it has to offer.

When you see yourself in a mirror the reflection of an angel shines back, the jaw line that shapes your face, the thickness in your eyebrows, the skinniness in your hollow cheeks, the sympathy yet bitch face that remains in your eyes.

When you play for your basketball games, what emotion do you feel? When I watch your games you get so into the moment you forget about every single person watching every move you make, including me. How do you make that work?

When you get a message from me asking for advice, what runs through your mind? Do you really care?

When you get dressed in the morning do you take pride in your body like I admire yours? I certainly don't.

When you eat your meals do you worry about maintaining your weight like I do? You don't. Countless days you try to tell me to eat, but per usual I don't.

When you get a test or a project does your mind instantly go to the negative lane like mine does?

When you throw on that basketball jersey with your number on it, or that gray shirt you enjoy wearing with your last name imprinted on the back, are you proud like I am of you?

Because that's just it right? You are you, and I am me. Though the real question I struggle with and I'm sure you do as well, "who is 'me'?"

Dear You; You know what eats me alive every morning I open my eyes or when  I see my reflection, I will never be like you.

A/N:

So it's been a solid 5 months since I've published something and I'm so very sorry. School has been kicking my ass, it's horrible. I'm going to try and get my shit together. :/