Obedience Lessons

Chapter Nineteen

Dylan's POV

I didn't sleep again. I didn't need to have to see Liam hanging like that ever again. The nightmares didn't come often, especially not like that, but when they came they fucked with my head until I didn't know what was real from what I'd imagined anymore.

Louisa eyed me curiously as I passed her silently. It wasn't personal or anything, I just didn't need to arouse suspicion. I didn't know who to trust at all, what with all these people being paid by my father. "Coffee," I said to Louisa when I finally did speak and she hurried to get me some, presumably from the Deli over the road from our building.

I pulled up the holographic charts of our mining locations in Brazil, just for something to do and to ease my mind. We had six bases, one of which was along a border town of Boa Vista. It was there I'd remembered in my dreams. It was beautiful there, I actually missed it. But I would never go back there, I couldn't bear it.

Louisa entered my office, shutting the door behind her and holding up two cups of coffee. She handed me mine and began to sip the other without waiting for me to say anything. She seemed to really be enjoying that coffee, moaning over the cup before raising her eyes to mine and placing a finger on her lips that could've been just to move a crumb.

I got the message. We couldn't ever speak here. We didn't know what kind of surveillance could be on the place. "Did you pull the files on the artificial mercury project?"

"Right in your desk, sir," She replied. "Top drawer. I only typed out a summary on it for next meeting. We can go over it if you like, although I'll warn you it can take a while."

I located the file and flipped through it briefly. "Let's discuss it over breakfast."

At the cafe, I ate so that I wouldn't arouse suspicion if we were being watched.

"You remembered something didn't you?" Louisa asked after taking a bite out of her chocolate covered doughnut.

"Only Brazil. That was the August before he died."

"Oh yeah? What happened in Brazil? I heard you guys had a little trouble getting back, but that was about it," She frowned, probably trying to find a connection.

"We got into a lot of trouble there. Liam more than anyone else." I fell silent. Maybe I should tell her... "He contracted HIV there...... Didn't find out until he checked himself out when we got back. Even so, nothing showed up until November..." I'd never forgiven myself. He wouldn't have gotten it if I didn't make him go with me to the club. I hadn't even bothered to ask if he was carrying protection, since I was on PrEP.

"Fuck."

"The suicide thing made sense after that," I said, managing to hold back the tears that came with admitting it. It felt like betraying him. Not to mention my reaction when he told me he was positive. I'd pulled away just fractionally but it was enough. I saw the hurt in his eyes even when I started to reassure him that everything would be okay. I was wrong.

Two years Ago (November 30, 2016)

"Dad's not going to find out, we won't tell him. He doesn't even know you're gay." Nothing I said could make it better. He was already crying but I could feel how angry he was.

He had a right to be. I'd fucked around so much that if anyone should be positive it made more sense that it would be me. I wished it were me instead of him. He didn't fucking deserve this.

"Maybe it's time he knew. I'm tired of all the hiding, I'm fed up with living a fucking lie, it doesn't even feel like living. You know what's funny? Being fucked by a pos guy was probably the most alive I've felt my whole life, and now it's killing me."

"That's not funny at all. And we don't know that. It's just HIV, you didn't test out for AIDS." My voice was weak when I said it, imagining him with both was like burying him already. I didn't want to think about it, not when it might not happen at all. "Don't do anything stupid."

"You mean don't do anything you would do?" He taunted, jumping up onto my bed and snatching my pillow from under me.

"Exactly! I came out to them and look where it got me. I'm lucky not to have been kicked out and cut off yet. And we know that it's going to happen eventually." I sighed. I wished our father wasn't such an asshole. And that our mother had grown whatever was the female equivalent to balls.

"Dylan... I don't think I even want to do this anymore." When he said that I looked at him. His voice had gone soft, like it always did when he was being completely serious. He looked like an angel saying a prayer. "I hate the office. I just want to move out and see a bit of the world.... Maybe have hot sex with a French guy before opening up a flower shop and making roses and all kinds of flowers."

"I have no idea how dad hasn't figured out you're gay yet. Especially when you say more gay stuff than I ever do," I teased

He whacked me with the pillow. "Shut up. I think I'm going to tell them. They have two gay sons and need to get used to it. It's not the 1800s." Liam lay back on the bed, facing me, with earnest eyes seeking my approval.

"I don't know what to say to you, although I guess I have more experience pissing off our parents. Just, wait for the right moment. And about this other thing.... promise me you'll be smart?"

"I'm not you. I'll be smart, I promise."

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A/N: Yeah, yeah, don't chew me up guys, its short but when do I not stick to my word and make up for it? See ya tomorrow!

And if you really wanna help out, PM me stories about your first dates. I want things nice and spicy, and chapter 20 is going to be all-new since it wasn't in my original story.

Stay Golden

-Ender Xen