Sold

14: Cooking

Even though Master Synn told me to sleep well, I stay up wallowing in sadness far past nightfall.

Why do I want this man's approval so much? Why didn't he like my drawings? And why do I find him so frustratingly attractive and appealing when I couldn't even find Meben handsome or intriguing?

My life has flipped upside down since I arrived here.

I've been flooded with too many questions to ever truly figure out the answers to, but one stands out the most: Why do I feel so conflicted about Master Synn?

It would be much easier if he was a terrible Master. If he was a mean man - cruel, perhaps - who wanted to hurt me or abuse me, it would be easy to hate him. But...he isn't. He seems patient, kind, and compassionate...and somehow he's still intimidating and powerful.

He didn't even capture or purchase me, either. He isn't like Vylek - a creepy man who buys young women for pleasure. Master Synn is...different in ways I don't understand. And I don't feel bonded to him because he's captured me, because I'm trapped, or because I'm "owned" by him. I feel drawn to him because he's intriguing and kind-hearted.

He brings me delicious, delicately crafted meals. He allows me to stay in a well-furnished room far more comfortable and lavish than my dirt-floored canvas shelter in the woods. He comforts me when I have nightmares. He touches me so delicately...

A flush dusts my face in heat.

Despite the fact that everything has felt completely out of control, there is something about this house, this bedroom, and this Master of mine that feels still, calm, and concrete. And although being alone fills me with enough sadness to make me want to burst into tears, there is something warm and serene about the way Master Synn stayed with me during my nightmare.

I still want to run away, don't I? This is what I didn't want: To be controlled, just like I was in my village. But it isn't like my village. Master Synn isn't the same kind of man as my father or Meben. He asks for my opinions. And if I ask for something, he considers it. That's more than any man in my life has ever done for me.

*************

When I awaken the next morning, I have no desire to color in my coloring book. I curl up in bed and stay there, staring at the ceiling until Master Synn enters.

His head tilts to the side and his lips part when he sees me perched on the bed, doing nothing.

"You look tired." His brow tenses and he looks at the floor. "Nightmares again?"

My heart sparks to life in my chest. I had convinced myself that I'd imagined it and pushed it out of my head, but here he is confirming it. I thought it was real, but to hear it come from Master Synn's lips cements the fact that what happened wasn't a dream or my imagination.