Set sail my love

9

"So..." Jessi quipped from her side of the table when neither Chase nor I said anything from our opposite ends. "Anybody wanna tell me what's going on?"
We'd been sat at my kitchen island in silence while drinking our juice and Jessi had been waiting for some sort of explanation.
"Jessi, it's not what it looked like." I went to explain and Chase looked up at me. "It was just a mistake. He came over and things got out of hand."
"A mistake. That's what I am to you?" He sounded angry but there was nothing I could say to him at this point. "A mistake would've been the first time Lira and quite frankly you had no qualms about it even then."
"Chase don't do that." I levelled with him. Can't he see I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place here?
"Wait you've done this before? Together?" Jessi asked from my side and I was seriously getting a headache.
"We haven't done anything okay nothing happened."
"God can you hear yourself?"
"Can you hear yourself? Jessi, nothing's happening here."
Chase shoved his stool back with such brute force I was a little alarmed and then angry because he was refusing to understand the predicament I was in.
"Fuck!" He yelled.
"This isn't about us Chase can you calm down and just-"
"What. Can I just what, forget you Lira? Go away? Ignore what's going on between us?"
"There is no us Chase let's get that straight." I had my fingers massaging my temples at this point but I looked up at him in utter rage and spat out the most painful lie I would ever tell in my life. He wiped down his face with his palm while his foot was tapping viscously on my wooden floor boards.
"There is no us. I won't be stupid any longer." He pushed off his seat and stalked angrily out the door slamming it hard on his way out I was certain it was going to fall off its hinges.
"Fine!" I yelled after him and stared daggers into the space he occupied last.
I didn't move I couldn't.
It's like the rage replaced all the pain and it didn't hit me just how cold my body was already from missing his touch.
"I don't think he's coming back," Jessi quipped from her side of the table when she noticed I wasn't averting my attention.
"Well good riddance! I'm so glad he made this so much easier for me." I sat back down and crossed my arms over my heaving chest. I was fuming and i couldn't stop thinking of how he had been so unreasonable and uncooperative like I thought he'd be.
"So nothing's going on?" She was so calm and unphased by the turn of events and I couldn't help but be slightly bothered by that.
"No," I rested my head on my palm and sighed trying to calm down. "I don't know it wasn't defined. Can't I just have them both?" I hung my head at her and she sighed too putting her glass back on the coaster.
"Look whatever you decide to do I'll be supportive because I'm really not the best person to judge you right now. But if the goal is to upset your dad then Chase is definitely the way to go..." I tightly smiled at her as her words sunk into my mind. She's right. He'd be more than upset he'd be furious and I'm not sure how far he'd go to punish the relevant perpetrators involved meaning he'd go after Chase.
"I don't love him." I pushed off my seat and made way to my bedroom stripping my clothes off and wearing my snuggie. I heard Jessi walk in and change into her own bed gear right before we slipped under my cold covers and cuddled. "He's so arrogant and ego centric and used to getting his way no matter who gets hurt in the process."
"Oh no that's too bad."
"And he's such a jerk, thinks I'm so delusional I'll believe his silly claims of having changed just like that."
"Yeah he sounds awful."
"Thinks he can come into my space and ultimatum me as if all decisions lie in his hands. Such a jerk." I repeated and scooted closer to my bestfriend for warmth.
"You sure you not in love with him?"
"Nope I'm not." I said cheerfully.
"You sure do know an awful lot about his character."
"Yeah keeping the enemy close and all that."
"Anybody would think you guys are a well oiled machine just from the electricity between you two."
"Shut up." I punched her in the stomach and she groaned releasing a constricted laugh.
"How are things with Sasha?"
"He's with the kids this weekend.."
"Again?"
"That's what he said. And Stella's telling me to guard my heart because he sounds shady." She meant her mom.
"You finally told her?" I tried to smile through the darkness at her hidden face.
"Desha did. Last night because I told mom she's overstaying yet she promised to leave before this week." I giggled. I know Kadesha and Jessi love each other but it's just so hard for them to dwell in the same place for longer than a few hours.
"Do you think she's right?"
"Well yeah I mean, Kadesha isn't really known for keeping good jobs and if she's in between houses I'll refrain from burning her alive and she can stay."
"I meant your mom."
"Oh," she chuckled. "It makes sense Lee...I don't want her to be right."
"But, you won't be shocked though since you're seeing it prior to it happening?"
"I think I love him. That covers a lot of his short coming." I sighed because I hated it when Jessi was hurting. She'd be all glum and lifeless in private and extra hyped in front of other people. She'd literally go insane.
"Well the good news is you can always end up with me and we'll sail away from my dad together and grow old living off the grid and check ourselves into a resting home in Taiwan and be the two black 90 year olds there who twerk to trap music and spill coffees on hot young nurses." Jessi started laughing. Her genuine laugh, the one that sounded so full of life and tender joy and I couldn't help but laugh with her.
"Girl you forgot the disabled parking."
"Oh and the food fights."
"And if you end up marrying Kai I'm packing my bags and coming with you."
"Sigh. Poor Kai. He's probably wondering if we're okay right now because I haven't been texting him."
"He better be. You're the catch Lee and I will break up with him myself if he so much as even thinks of screwing you over." I giggled because she was dead serious and I didn't doubt her abilities.
"I don't think Kai would ever think of doing something traumatic to me. If not for the love of me it's for the love of his career that he needs to stay in check." We stayed up chatting about all kinds of things until 04:58 when Jessi forced herself to sleep on account of she had an 08:00 lecture. I stayed awake a little longer and eventually drifted off on thoughts of my pending phone call with my father.
At 10:42 I awakened from my sleep thinking I was going to be late for my 10:30 International Relations class across campus. I jumped out of my bed and bolted for my bathroom to brush my teeth as I simultaneously detangled the curly mess on my head. I washed my face and decided to bath after the lecture then I dove into my room to change. I didn't have time for makeup but I made sure to put on something clean and flattering.