Mr. Mendes

chapter 14 - distance

I lay on my bed thinking about the state mine and Shawn's relationship was in. Everything was quiet. There were no cars on the road or people walking around on the street. The only audible noise I could hear was the faint hum of the television downstairs and the muffled noises of my parents' chatter. I felt blank, like white noise on a radio. Why did I feel so empty? It's not like we even officially broke it off. Whatever "it" was.

I was already ready for bed, teeth brushed and makeup removed. I'd even put on my most comfy pyjamas in an attempt to console myself after the events of today; it wasn't working. Eventually, I forced myself to get under the covers. I swaddled myself in my duvet and clumped it into a pile in order to imitate the body of Shawn lying next to me. In a weird way it was comforting, but then it also made the pain worse. I had to pretend he was next to me, pretend we were okay, when in reality we were anything but.

It was the next morning. I woke up feeling groggy and tired. All my limbs ached from running back to the house and away from the mess Shawn had created. I got myself ready for school, not really paying much attention as I did so. I checked myself over in the mirror before I left.

Hair,

Done

Makeup,

Done

Outfit,

Looks decent

Smile,

Not currently available

I strutted into form, plastering on a mask and hoping no one would see through the holes. I sat, in my regular seat, getting books out of my bag.

Someone snatches the book right out of my hands.

"Seriously?" I snapped, "I'm not in the mood."

I looked up. It was Jack with a huge smile branded across his face.

"Woah, what's upset you this fine morning?" He asked playfully.

"Nothing," I said dismissively, not wanting to get into the issue. "We ran out of milk and I couldn't have my favourite cereal." It wasn't technically a lie; we were out of milk.

"Must be a pretty good cereal to get you so worked up." He lightly nudged my arm.

"Jack, what are you doing?" I asked becoming confused and a tiny bit irritated, "what's your goal here?"

"To make you want to date me." He said openly, his body turning towards mine.

"You what?" I questioned, while still very shocked about the ease he just displayed his feelings with.

"I want to date you," He said staring straight into my eyes, "I don't know why this is such a shock to you. I asked you yesterday. I wasn't lying when I said I liked you."

"I know you did," I sighed, "I thought you were just saying it to flatter me and make me forgive you."

"I wish I could be that manipulative." He laughed, I looked away.

The bell rings.

I pack my bag and begin to walk away. I hear Jack behind me catching up to me.

"Eleanor, we're in English together!" He said while laughing.

"Sorry, I guess my mind is just somewhere else."

We walk into the stuffy classroom, but I make an effort to go behind Jack and draw as little attention to myself as possible. Mr. Mendes still sees me though; I can feel his eyes glued on me as I walk to my seat.

I didn't want anything to do with him right now.

I sit next to Hannah. She greets me with a warm smile.

"Hey Eleanor, where have you been the past few days?" She whispered quietly yet excitedly.

"Just busy, why? Anything new to report?" I asked, hoping for something else to think about, rather than my own problematic love life.

"Apparently Erin and Sarah got in a fight the other day!" She announces eagerly.

"What? No!" I gasped. "They've been friends for years!"

"It's terrible how much conflict a boy can cause," She was about to tell me the details of the fight when she was silenced by Mr. Mendes' loud and stern voice.

"Girls, detention. I don't tolerate talking in my lessons."

"Don't put Hannah on detention, it was my fault, sorry." I admitted, trying to take the fall for Hannah.

"Okay Eleanor, if that's the case then you can do double."

"What? I said I was sorry!" I retaliated

"You're gossiping in my lesson!" He began to lecture the whole room, "I have a class to teach. You can be a part of it or not, but please don't disturb any other pupils. Especially you Eleanor."

I grabbed my bag, "Well, if this lesson is optional, then I'm going."

"Eleanor sit down." He said rolling his eyes, expecting we to submit like I always do.

I just carried on walking.

The whole class made a quiet 'ooh' sound as Mr. Mendes realised he pushed me too far.

"Eleanor, please sit back down!" He said, his tone sounding regretful.

Yet again, I just carried on walking. I pulled on the door and let myself out of the classroom while all eyes were on me.

As soon as I got far enough down the corridor, I let out a huge sigh. What the hell was I thinking? Why am I turning into the bratty girls that I always hated? My hand softly meets my temple while I process what happened back there.

Suddenly, I hear footsteps running down the corridor. They were quick and I could tell that they would be by my side in a matter of seconds, no matter what I did. The suspense builded as I waited to see who it was running to my rescue. The figure slowed down when it was next to me. I turned to see who it was and was surprised at what I saw.

Jack?

"Eleanor? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I really didn't want to talk to him.

"You don't look fine."

"Why are you here Jack?" I dodged, "I walk out of one English lesson and you think you're my knight in shining armour? That's not how it works. I forgave you. Whatever guilt your feeling isn't necessary. I don't need your charity Jack. I'll be just fine on my own."

"Well if that's what you think this is then I'll leave." He said, shrugging his shoulders.

"What do you mean?" I sighed.

"Eleanor I came here to see if you were okay. Obviously you're not." He paused, "Look, I don't know what's gone on between you and Mr. Mendes but I do know that he's the one causing you to lash out."

"I guess you're right." I confess

"Please, let me take your mind off this. Be ready for seven, I want to take you some place nice."

I deliberated on my answer for a while. I didn't want to rush into anything new. I mean, I hadn't even let Shawn speak to me since I saw him with another girl. But you know what, I don't need to let him try and swerve his way around this. I know what I saw. I'm sick and tired of wondering what I did wrong or how I could have stopped this. I want to feel something else than anger.

"Okay, but we'd better be back by ten."