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Ch. 17

  When we all finnally got tired of skating and joking around. We created a circle in the middle between two ramps with our bodies. Our heads were all touching, and we were just watching the blue sky get darker. It's been a couple hours since I've checked my phone, but when I arrived at the skate earlier I did text Ethan and let them know where I was. Better take just a glace at the screen to see how much trouble I'm in. 

Text message: Ethan (5 hours ago)

One text? No calls? Oh hell, maybe I've really done it now. I open my phone to view the message.

-Alright sweets, just call us when you are ready for us to come get you, or an emergency occurs. Love you. Be Safe.

"What the actual fuck?" I scream and sit up from the circle.

"What?" Damien asks while sitting up and leaning over my shoulder to read my phone. "Whoa dudette, finally don't have strings attached. How does the freedom feel?" 

"Honestly, concerning. I think It's time for me to go. I'm most likely in more trouble then they are letting on. Probably going to be grounded, one day for each hour I didn't check in. Fml." I grumble as I lay back down. Although I'm worried, I'm still not going to leave until everyone else does. The rest of the group lets out their own statements of "Fml," and then everything is just quite again. 

"We should get high. I want to be high. Guys can we get high?" This guy next to me blurts out of no where. We fall into a laughing fit, before calming down due to the realization that getting high sounds like a really good idea right about now. But someone has to step in first.

"I'm in." I state as I sit up and turn around. A few of members of the group seem concerned that I was the first to speak up. Yet everyone sat up in joined in to the occasion.

"Alright, now it's a party. Brb." The same guy says as he gets up to go to get his bag.

"Wait, here? Don't you think we should go somewhere else?" I stumble out. Yea, now I'm worried.

"Why? As long as we don't get up and do stupid shit around town, all it looks like is a group of people smoking some cigarettes and chatting. How illegal is that?" The guy says as he hands me the first roll out of the bag.

"Okay." And from there we light up. I smoke just one, while just about everyone else smokes at least two. We talk, and talk, and talk, and talk, and to top off all the talking, we talk some more. Amongest the conversations is constant laughter. Damn we are some pretty average high people. 

  After a while, when it is so dark the street lights are on and I feel competent enough to call Mark and Ethan. I excuse myself to retrieve my things and call them.

After only one ring Ethan picks up.

"Ashton? You okay? You still at the skate park?" Ethan rushes out in such a hurry that I barely caught every word. 

"Whooa, whooa, slloow. ddoown. I'm...fine. Cooome get me." I say so slowly. And I know it too. And now Ethan must know that I am high. Shit.

"Ashton, are you okay? What have you done?" Mark asks,  he must have taken the phone from Ethan.  Ugh.

"i-i've done nothing but skate around the skatey park with my pals. Like I told you I was doing."

"Bull.  You've smoked or taken some substance,  we were born but it wasn't last night Ashton.  Just stay at the park, I'm on my way." click.

Instead of walking back to the group,  I just stay at the table we sit our stuff on.  It's closer to the parking lot anyway. After a few minutes pass,  I see the Jeep pull in and stumble myself up and towards it. 
  While opening the door I hit my head with it after misjudging where I was standing to open said door.  I decide to sit in the back so I wouldn't be able to see Mark's face, he was pissed, and the tension was so tense the entire ride home.
  When we arrive at the house, I wanted to immediately get out and go to my room and leave all the talking and discipline for in the morning.  However, before I went to open the door Mark turned around.

"When we go inside,  just go to your room.  We will discuss all that needs to be discussed tomorrow. For now,  we are all not in the right minds to do so. We just need to all go to bed.  Ethan is probably waiting at the door.  So give him a hug as you go upstairs and then I will tell him that we are waiting till tomorrow.  Am I clear?" Mark states calmly yet firmly. 

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

"Yes sir?"  I question because he has never had me do that before.  What the fuck?

"Thank you.  I love you.  Goodnight."

  With that we get out of the car and head inside.  He was right about Ethan being at the door.  He kept asking if I was okay,  but I just did as Mark told and hugged and walked to my room.  Nothing more,  nothing less.
  When in my room I just take off my jeans and go to bed in what I'm wearing.  Although I'm exhausted by not getting any sleep lately,  My mind just kept racing with emotions and feelings.
  I cry a bit just to let out some of them and then I get up. I change into an outfit.  I grab an old notebook and start to write to Make and Ethan. 
  In the note I explain everything about where I am coming from.  And then I explain why I have to go. 
  The last part wrote:
"For a split moment I thought that a family would be able to help cure some of my problems,  yet it has just brought on more.  My struggle with anxiety and depression has increased. I need to be myself again. Thank you so incredibly much for being willing to take in a street rat like me.  I can't thank you enough for the love and support you guys gave me.  But I have brought you guys nothing but disappointment and stress and that is something that i can't allow to continue.  So I'm sorry,  but I'm going away. Please don't try to find me.  Adopt you guys a child that doesn't come with this kind of background.  Make another child's everyday a great day. I love you guys.  Always.  Goodbye. "

With that I left.  I didn't take the phone or any clothes.  I left with the clothes that were on my back and nothing else. Just like I did when my father kicked me out.