While investigating an increase in missing persons, I came across Mr. Darkk's Fantastical Rides. He was trapping the missing people in various virtual reality rides. After wrestling control from him, I decided to keep the place open and create Miste...
Welcome CLASSIFIED to Mr. Gadget's Fantastical Ultra Realistic Rides Yahoo (or FurryLand). And congratulations on being selected for the CLASSIFIED position.
All positions are important here at FurryLand. It doesn't matter if you're running the rides, dressing up as a character, or cleaning the gum off the seats, you are an important part to making this park an enjoyable experience for all.
And as part of the FurryLand Pack, you are entitled to our excellent dental, vision, and medical healthcare—namely our cure-all medicine. It can heal wounds, replace limbs, cure cancer and the common cold. We also provide great vacation plans because we know that the constant threat of a super villain attack can be taxing.
We here at FurryLand take safety very seriously. That being said, before you move on to your individual training, we would like to go over some of the more important parts of park safety. We want you to know how to stay safe in any given situation, such as when the animatronics decide to rebel against mankind—it happens more often than you think.
In the case of an invasion, be it alien conquerors, robot revolution, zombie apocalypse, giant monster attack, or deadly plague as an entry level employee you are to report the incident to a supervisor and then head for your assigned safety bunker. You will wait out the invasion there until either the incursion is thwarted or you die.
For any natural or seemingly natural disaster, please report to your safety bunker as soon as possible. If you come to find that FurryLand has been digitized, bottled, or otherwise removed from this reality, please report to your safety bunker and wait for the all-clear signal.
If you spot a thief, witness an assault or abduction, come in contact with a spy, learn of a terrorist attack, or uncover a conspiracy to assassinate a world leader or take over a country and/or the world, you are to report this to your supervisor or nearest security guard (unless of course they are the spy or the terrorist—in which case you report to the next supervisor/guard) and head to your assigned safety bunker. Do not engage the subject(s).
If you are possessed, under mind control, or any other form of psychic attack, mentally repeat your favorite religious hymn (or prayer) or secular mantra—such as the periodic table or a very annoying song—until the unholy creature or the psychic becomes so annoyed that they end their assault or at the very least realize that since you like the latest pop culture song that much you must have limited intelligence and therefore are not helpful. Once you have regained full control of your faculties, please see the nurse or priest for further treatment.
If you suspect that you have an evil clone or twin running around, please report this as soon as possible. Once you have reported this, your supervisor will begin asking certain questions from your application that only you should know in an attempt to verify your identity. This is why during training your supervisor will ask you to memorize a random code phrase. Once your identity has been confirmed, you will be given a temporary nanobot tattoo so that everyone can identify you as you. Once your double has been apprehended, the tattoo will be removed.
If you come to believe that reality has been altered through time travel or dimensional displacement, please head to the protected History Center. There you can compare your memories against the archives. These archives are specially protected against time ripples and reality shifts. If you do come across a discrepancy, fill out form 52-K and include your memory and the file number from the archives proving that your memory is real. Then take the form to your supervisor. If you don't come across a discrepancy then you might just be crazy. But don't worry, FurryLand healthcare covers this.
If FurryLand is taken over by a galactic empire, destroyed in some epic battle, ruled over by robots, left desolate after a global pandemic, reclaimed by the forces of evil, or lost in a lawsuit...well, there's not much that can be done at that point. All you can do is try to survive and hope that management can once again regain control.
Thank you for choosing to make FurryLand great. And welcome to the FurryLand Pack.
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Image provided by Pixabay and altered by Adobe Spark Post.
