him // jack gilinsky

❤️chapter 30❤️

EMMA'S P.O.V.

it's been 5 months. it still hurts. so much. much more than it did 5 months ago. i still wake up & expect to see him down stairs cooking breakfast, or seeing his name on my phone, or hear him singing, rapping or laughing. i miss him so much.
i can't take this. I'm ending this all.
"Jack, I'm gonna go...get some food, see ya. i love you so much." i kissed him & he managed to kiss back.
"uhh, okay, are you okay?" shiiiiit.
"yeah, I'm fine."
"okay, i love you too."
i walked out of the room & got into my Mercedes. i haven't seen my mom in about 6 months. i don't care.
i made my way to Walmart. when i entered i went to the office supply area & purchase a notepad, some pens & envelopes.

i got back into my car & drove to my favorite place, a private lake. the same lake Jack took me to the night we first kiss. where he first told me he loved me...i arrive with my pills & my office supplies. i sat in my car & wrote my letter ~

"Hi guys, by the time you've read this I'll be dead & gone.
i just wanted to let you guys know that i love you all. so much. I'm leaving this world today, to be reunited with my best friend, Taylor. it's been 5 LONG months & the pain just keeps getting worse. every night, when everyone is asleep, i sneak into the bathroom & fall apart. i need him. please don't try to revive me, you'll be too late. leaving this world is something for the better. i know you will all be okay without me. the pain was too much, it wasn't getting better, so I'm taking matters into my own hands. I'm tired of seeing Taylor only in my dreams. i want my bestfriend back. i wasn't ready to lose him.
Cameron, i love you. you were an amazing brother & father. thank you for always being there for me. have an amazing life with Audrey.
Bugs, i am so sorry. i love you so much more than you know. it pains me to know that I'm hurting you. please move on, date. you're not going to spend the rest of your life alone. i love you.
Nash & Hayes, y'all are the most amazing people. i love y'all so much. stay sweet & look out for each other & keep each other safe.
Aaron, Shawn, Carter, Dillon & Sammy, i love you guys too. you all mean the world to me. Aaron, you're amazing. Shawn, keep singing. for me. Carter, keep up the modeling. Dillon, keepin making songs, you're fantastic. & Sammy...me & you have grown pretty close & i love you. keep being you, Sam.
Matthew, thank you for being there for me, it took me awhile to remember you, but you were patient. thanks, i love you.
Johnson, you're honestly like my brother, you mean so much to me. please keep Jack out of trouble. be there for him & make sure he's okay. i loooove you jj. <3
finally, Audrey. you're my true best friend & i wouldn't have made it this long without you. thank you so much for being an amazing friend. keep Cam safe for me. i love you.

you boys & Audrey, have become my family over the years/months. thank you all. i love you all...goodbye

-Emma Nicole Dallas."

i remove the pages from the notebook, fold them & put them in the envelope. i made sure to seal it & wrote "to my family." on the front. i sat in the car for about 45 minutes. crying. my phone kept going off
incoming call from "Bugs☺️" decline.
incoming call from "bubba💜" decline.
incoming call from "Audrey😍" decline.
i didn't answer a single phone call for over 45 minutes. i decided of just get it over with before they came.

"goodbye world...I'm coming Taylor." i whispered & swallowed 130 pills.
i felt myself slipping into my death when i heard something.
"EMMA STAY AWAKE." it was a familiar male voice.
"CAMERON CALL 911!" it was Jack.
"Emma...don't leave. fight for me." was the last thing i heard Jack say before i slipped into death.

"hi Emma, long time no see."
"TAY?!" i squealed.
"why are you here, Emma?!" he seemed pissed.
"i-i wanted to see you...i can't live without you Taylor. it just hurts so bad..." i trailed off.

JACK G'S P.O.V.

i called her over & over & over, taking turns with Audrey & Cam. i knew i shouldn't have let her go.
"Cam, Audrey. let's go. i think i know where she is." i called for them.

we got into Cams jeep & sped to Emma's favorite place.

Our lake.