Traces of Sand (R18)

Chapter 2

Chapter 2

TIRED

I felt like a stone in there standing in front of her seeing her happy with someone else, I felt like a stone as I froze as she passed through me she didn't even take a glance at me.

'what do I expect?'

Her smile was wider than she was with me before her lips drawn beautiful curves around her red luscious lips her eyes had sparkles brighter than the day we had before each other. 

I felt a thousand  knives stabbing me deeply the pain within was incurring I felt so weak around her I felt unconscious while being breathless seeing her smile without me. 

But why would I feel saddened seeing her with someone but why do I feel fear knowing she would leave me truly knowing she wouldn't end up with me but one thing I should fear na alam ko sa sarili kong umaasa parin ako, na alam kong sa sarili kong impossible, na alam ko sa aming dalawa ako lang ang nakakaramdam. 

Just three words please, just those three words and I'll try to forget everything you've done to me. I'll try to forget you're the one who left me. Three words you said to me before you left three words you made me believe three words that was a complete lie just say those lies and I'll come back to you.

I SOUND SO DESPERATE but then I learned I couldn't stand to live with those lies I was the one hurt siya dapat ang umiiyak, siya dapat ang nagiging desperada siya dapat ang humahabol or might be she didn't love me that much kasi nagsasawa na siya or maybe my mom was right she was being with me for MONEY because I'm a big catch because. 

She needed MONEY not LOVE. At first I tried to accept everything kasi akala ko when I give myself to her thoroughly she would fall in love with me too na mawawala rin ang kanyang balak na bibigay rin siya sa huli. 

I was being with her I build walls that she can only enter and guess what she was the only one who can also destroy. She knew myself too much, she knew how to destroy me she knew how to make me devastated.

"Magandang Hapon po manang Roelisa" bati ko sa isa sa aming mga tahalinis ng bahay  at mayordoma ngumiti naman ito ng tipid sa akin at ibinalik muli ang tingin sa kanyang pinagagawa. She was sweeping the floor quietly.

tinanong ko siya kung saan si mama "Manang asan po ba si Mama wala siya nong pagdating ko kahapon wala naman siya sa kanyang kwarto" sabi ko habang pinagmamasdan ang kwarto na walang tao at nakabukas ang pinto

tumigil muna ito sa paglilinis at inilagay ang walis sa gilid bumuga ito ng marhas na hangin bago sumagot "hindi kaba sinabihan ng mama mo?" tanong niya umiling lamang ako wala akong kaalam alam sa mga pinagagawa ni mama hindi naman kami araw araw na nagkitakita 

"bumyahe ang Mama mo papuntang Maynila ngayon sigurado akong nasa Davao na yun ngayon at pasakay ng eroplano" aniya at tumalikod na muli sa aking gawi may kukunin siguro sa kusina

sigurado akong halos ilang araw na namang hindi makakauwi si Mama lalot lalo na ngayon ay nasa hospital si Papa at nagkaroon ng isyu ang kumpanya namin. Hindi naman pwedeng kaming dalawa ni Kuya Quill ang mag manage ng kompanya lalong lalo na 3rd year high school palamang ito. At grade 5 student palamang ako. We know nothing about managing business.

Naging malungkot uli ang reaksyon ko ng  malamang wala uli si Mama. Malapit pa naman sana ang recognition ng paaralan naman she would always excuse herself when these events come she would always say shes busy pagkarating naman niya sa bahay she has no time for the both of us because she would always come home tired that's also one of the reason why nag rebelde si Kuya he doesn't want to go to school because no one would appreciate our works no one would appreciate our efforts.