— Disaster on earth
Understand Me – Piff Marti ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬
A few years earlier...
LAUREN PENNEY:
Leaving them was the last thing I wanted to do. I never think clearly, and now my life is nothing because of it.
I had to know if it was true. I had to go and find Jonny, because I thought he was gone. I thought he died that day of the hurricane. Jonny was my husband, my first love — my only love. I believed for a long time that the day of the hurricane was the worst day of my life.
After waking up, surrounded by the remains of my home, and clouds of sand throughout the distraught area that used to be our neighborhood — I remember my oldest son, Robert, tugging on my arm as I lay on the ground. Unshed tears filled his big brown eyes and ran down his six-year-old face. He was so scared. He was so very scared, and I couldn't protect him from it. I was scared, too.
Amelia, I had cradling in my arms, she was fast asleep — my baby girl.
I looked around for Chaise as I squinted to see him running towards me through the cloudy air.
"Mommy, what was that?"
He was only a three-year-old. I stayed silent as I took my babies, and left our old, demolished home in Arizona. I never accepted any other home. I tried — for my babies. They were my purpose after the hurricane hit. Their happiness mattered more than my own.
Where we ended up wasn't the best. I tried to keep them happy, even though I was completely miserable without him. My Jonny, my love.
I became so stressed, and so devastatingly lonely. I allowed a man of my past in mine and my children's life. Harold wasn't what I needed. I wanted him to be, but he just wasn't good enough. He wasn't good enough for my babies. He was my mistake. He was a person I could blame for where I am now; beside myself.
When I got a call from Jonny's father, I thought I might actually be able to get my life back. The life I longed for and missed for years. He told me where I needed to go. I left my teenage children at our apartment in California with Harold. I had no one to blame apart from myself for that. Leaving them should have never been an option, but I wasn't considering the worst possible outcomes. I just hoped for the best.
I went to the address in Lake Havasu City, Arizona, to find a letter settled on the kitchen counter within the house. The place was empty.
No one is here, I thought.
I realized just how big of a mistake I had made as I held the worn letter between my fingers and read it over and over.
Dear Lauren,
I need you to know that none of it is your fault. I made a bad decision that I'll regret for the rest of my life. I miss you so much. I miss Robbie, Chaise, and Amelia too...I'll always regret not being there to watch them grow. I'm sorry I'm a coward. I lied to you, and I still can't tell you the complete truth. When you read this, I'll be in another country. I just wanted you to know that I will always love you and those kids, and that I'm still here. Don't try to find me Lauren. You don't want to find me. Go home and live your life with those kids. They love you so much, and I know you can't live without them.
Love you always,
Jonny
I was desperate, and completely confused. I couldn't let that be our closure, so I looked for him. I was selfish during the quest, searching for my Jonny when I knew deep down, he was nowhere I could find him. He didn't want me to find him. He didn't want me to want to find him.
I had called his father again for any clues to where he might be, but I found nothing. My feet were heavy, and my mind was light on the possibilities of what else could go wrong. When I gave up on looking for Jonny, my heart gave up as well, and fell somewhere along the grass of California, and my steps on the road where I didn't know where I was.
My mind went blank after losing them.
There was a lease notice taped to the apartment door when I returned. My apartment door where my babies were supposed to be waiting for me on the other side. They were gone — they ran out of money and had to leave. I was selfish for too long.
My heart gave up that day, and so did my mind.
Now I sit on a cot in this squared room, daydreaming about how I could have made better decisions. I don't have the man I love, or the children I gave birth to. I can't live without them. I no longer have hope. I gave up on everything precious I ever had, and my life is over. I just have the memories now.
AUTHOR'S WORD: Please listen to every song mentioned in this book. I recommend listening to each song after you read each chapter.
Don't forget to add this story to your library, vote, and comment if you wish! - Cristy M.
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In Between Times (Complete Novel, Mastered May 12th, 2022)
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