After The Phantom

Chapter 5: You'll Never Know

It's been two months since my wedding and the last time I saw Erik. I think he's dead. I don't know why I think that it's just a feeling I have. I sing sometimes on stage but it's not the same without him. I don't recognize myself when I sing. I was walking in the garden I needed to be alone I was so sick of having tea partiets with my rich friends bragging about how rich they are. And as for Raoul well he is not the handsome boy sitting at the opera box tossing me a single red rose. Or the boy who rescued my scarf from the sea. He is long gone. Raoul does'nt hurt me or anything there is just no fire or passion between us not like Erik. Raoul never understood the passion between Erik and I. He does'nt understand music and he comes to the opera for the wrong reasons he listens with his head never with his heart. Was Erik right? Is he not worthy of me?

Stop it Christine! Erik is dead!

I love Raoul of course but I fear that it will fade away in time. Maybe my love for him was just a shoulder to cry on because it's what I needed at that time. I felt like that's what I needed. I don't know, hidden and patient is my new motto.

"Christine?" It was Raoul calling to me. I walked as fast as I could to him. He smiled when  he saw me. "The doctor is here to see you" we walked in together and the doctor took me up stairs to the bedroom he worked on my stomack for a bit with his statoscope and but it away and looked at me. I was only in my corset which was a little embaricing. "Am I sick dr?" I asked him. "No Madame on the other hand your..." before he could finnish Raoul came in holding my hand tight. "Is there something wrong with my wife?"
Raoul asked nervously.
"No nothing is wrong unless you don't want to be parents"

Oh my God.

"Oh Lotte!" Raoul hugged me tightly and kissed my cheek. The doctor left us to take in the news. And behind my smile was sadness. I know for a fact that it's not Raoul's baby, it's Erik's.

You'll never know just how mutch I miss you
I speak your name in my every prayer
And if there is some otherway to prove that I love you
I swear I don't know how, you went away and my heart went with you you'll never know if you don't know now....