In My Veins

Chapter Five

Chapter Five

“All that you rely on”

          Rules. That’s what Captain Victoria Gates lived by: rules. As much as she never wanted to admit when she was wrong, she had to admit that now. When she had suspended Esposito and Beckett she was just acting on an impulse, which was the wrong thing to do. She discovered afterwards that she had incorrectly suspended them. Reg said that since Esposito was simply following orders from a superior officer, he shouldn’t have been suspended. Also, they should have been given a chance to plead their cases in front of union representation.

            Esposito, Gates would have to call in to talk to but Beckett was another matter. Even if Gates had incorrectly suspended her she had still resigned. The paperwork hadn’t gone through yet though so they might still be a chance of convincing her best detective to come back.

~O.o.O.o.O~

            “I’ve missed you,” Lanie whispered in Esposito’s ear. She really had. They had probably acted a little too quick when they broke up. It had been almost seven months since then and they clearly weren’t over each other yet.

            “I’ve missed you too Chica,” the Hispanic man replied before briefly taking her lips with his again. “Are you ready to try this again?”

            “I am,” she responded with a smile.

            He kissed her more passionately then, twisting his fingers into her long hair, and moaning into her mouth. She pulled him even closer and intertwined her fingers together behind his neck. Bringing his bottom lip between her teeth she made him moan again.

            He couldn’t help thinking about how that woman was slowly killing him as he started muttering in Spanish under his breath. “You’re wearing too much clothing,” he finally uttered just before her shirt was pulled off and thrown to the floor.  His shirt quickly followed along with his pants. Esposito pulled Lanie’s pants off tauntingly slow until they were both standing there in only their underwear.

            She kissed him again, sliding her tongue along his lips, just begging for entrance. He allowed it without hesitation and their tongues battled. She gripped him through his boxers then, causing him to swear in Spanish once more.

            His hands were behind her back, undoing her bra clasp, and then the red material was falling to the floor.

            The two stumbled into Javier’s room, still kissing the whole way. They were both getting impatient and they didn’t even pause to remove the remaining items of clothing.

            Skipping foreplay entirely, Javier readied himself at her entrance as Lanie half moaned his name. His hands slid up her sides before a loud beep sounded from his bedside table. His phone erupted in vibrations and his loud ringtone.

            “It’s Gates,” he groaned as he took a peek at the caller ID.

            “You better answer it,” Lanie sighed.

            Javier mumbled an apology to the beautiful naked woman on his bed and picked up his phone. “Esposito.”

~O.o.O.o.O~

            After Kate’s mother was murdered she had shut down. All her friend’s from college had tried to be sympathetic and understanding but they just didn’t understand. They couldn’t understand. Everyone says “I’m so sorry for your loss” but the words never help.

            When Kate was a teenager she had once snapped at her mother during an argument saying some snide remark about wishing she wasn’t her mother. Kate had regretted the words instantly afterwards of course but it was too late to take them back. Everyone says stupid stuff from time to time but losing her mother made her wonder what if those had been her last words to the woman who meant so much to her to the woman who meant so much to her? You just never know when you are going to lose somebody that you love, and no one knows what it is like until it actually happens. At first you’re in shock; you can’t believe that they are actually gone. You may think that you are okay at the time but eventually it sets in and you realize that you are never going to see that person again. It’s hard to wrap your mind around.

            Different people deal with grief and loss in different ways. Where some people drown themselves in a bottle or try to distract themselves with as many people as possible, Kate tried to cut herself off from everyone. She couldn’t let herself rely on anyone anymore after that.

            She lasted ten years without relying on anyone. Ten long years. But then she met him; her solid ground, her North Star: Richard Castle.

            She was far from healed. There would still be days that she wanted to run in the other direction. There would still be days she wanted to shut everyone out, including Rick. She wasn’t as afraid anymore though. She was healing and she had Rick. Now she wanted him to come see Dr. Burke with her.