i want to escape my own body
i want to crawl out of my own skin,
and find a new home.
my body should be my home,
so why do i feel like I'm a stranger in my own house?
i want to escape my own head
i want to find new thoughts to swarm me like a thousand angry wasps, disturbed
happier ones.
thoughts that don't intrude,
thoughts that give me space to breathe.
my mind is like a protective mother, hovering and looming over me,
making sure i never forget that i'm doing everything wrong
the person i see in the mirror
isn't someone that i know.
i see her, and all i see is everything i don't want,
everything
that i wish i didn't have to wake up to see.
in my dreams, i love myself.
in my dreams, i feel loved.
and when i wake up,
i want to disappear.
