God, I am just a girl.
What I want to do is to be ignorant and happy.
I don't know what to do with this little knowledge I have obtained, but it causes me to suffer.
I feel like I can't love myself enough and there's not enough love to be shared with anyone because of that. I'm not as confident in myself as I use to be.
And I think part of the reason is because I didn't know so much about things and the evils in this world. I was somewhat protected and sheltered.
I had a peace.
Ignorance is bliss.
I was at Peace, but I was ignorant.
I was talkative and full of ideas, but without any realistic views of the actual world.
That was my self a year ago.
I had some experiences this year.
Those experiences silenced me. They caused my childish fantasies and dreams to die off and fade.
I don't recognize that same girl.
She was glowing, radiating with the chance of opportunity and adventure.
But then she experienced some things.
It slowly cut down on her spirit, and the glowing radiating energy she once carried, died off.
She became depressed.
She isolated herself.
She stopped talking.
I used to write and communicate well.
I don't do so well anymore because Life has silenced me.
And guess what?
I'm still young.
I have way more experiences to live for.
What do I do?
Life has silenced me.
Realism has sunk into me and stolen my dreams?
I cry for that girl that I was.
She lost her innocent dreams.
Reality smacked her hard on the ground.
I'm only 16.
Now sometimes I feel like...what does life have to offer?
This is an extreme question from a little girl.
What kind of question is that you ask?
You still have a lot of life to live.
Well, yes I do.
But what is a life, when you are unhappy, unmotivated,
unhopeful, and ungrateful.
The light goes out.
The spark dies.
You can't have fun.
I hope I'll find my spark.
Maybe I feel this way because I'm a moody teenager.
I don't know what to think.
But I can tell you, I have changed a little.
