Honestly I am very confused.
I am trying to figure out what is going on with me.
My sister is shipping out to bootcamp and I will be left alone at my house with my brother, Mom and dad for my senior year.
I also have to figure out what it is that I want to do with my life.
I thought that I wanted to become a dental hygienist, but I don't know if that's what I want to do. I feel like I would become very bored with that job. I want to find a job that stimulates and excites me. I have no idea what I am suppose to do.
All I know is that I want to wakeup in the morning and be inspired, I want to be stimulated, I want to be excited about the things that I do. I want the things that I do to grow me. I want to be happy and content. This is a simple concept. So how do I find what it is that I want to do with my life?
I am tired of college work for now. This economics class that I am taking is making me want to take a break from college work. I feel like life feels like bleh.
I want to go out and have fun. I want to throw my cares in the trash, dive off the deep end, explore, have fun, be renewed and excited about life. Because right now my life feels very spice less, flavorless. I don't know what to do because I feel very unstimulated.
Am I suppose to feel like this?
Am I depressed?
I feel very bored right now with life, because I feel like I haven't found what it is that I want, and when I do find it, I need to get on it before the opportunity leaves me. I jsut want to feel good, because I feel very much empty.
LIke I feel like ther eis this void that I need to fill.
LIke i feel so empty all I want to do is sleep.....
I don't feel suicidal but i feel like all that I want to do with my life right now is sleep
I want to sleep and I don't want to wakeup. But i have to wakeup and have a bland, tasteless, boring life.
My life isn't just tasteless, it's joyless. Like i have all these problems that I pick up around me and I feel the toxicity and negativity, but like when do I feel the fun? When do I feel the excitement? When do I sense truth? Like what is going on? I lowkey hate my life. I have to block out everything because I feel like i've outgrown everything in my life.
Maybe that is it, i have just outgrown everything that is in my life right now.
I don't feel awake, I feel very asleep even when i am awake.. Like i don't feel present at all.
People can be having conversations with me and I will unconsciously zone out for a majority of it and only wake back up into consciousness when they are telling me good bye.
This is not healthy I know, but I feel like my life needs a restart. A reboot.
I feel like i need to reborn, I need to be reset.
