As a teenager, I believe I should jump at the opportunity to reach out to them. I am on a different level than they are. I am at a different stage in life than they are. And I am also on a different emotional level than they are. This is why it is so hard to relate to them. And it is probably hard for them to relate to me as well.
But I always feel the need to talk to them because they made it to adulthood and I want to go there as well. I want help.
When I want to open up to an adult about the problem that I have, I find they have a lot to say. But they don't listen long enough for me to finish saying what I wanted to say. I have a lot of clutter in my mind and I want to express it so I can make sense of my thoughts, perceptions and feelings. This process takes some time, and I find it frustrating when I can't communicate myself clearly. I know one would judge me from the outside saying "Well, little girl, that's called being a teenager. And if you want someone to talk to, see a therapist. They do that kinda thing for a living." But I don't want to see a therapist. I want to talk to you. I just don't know how to.
When you listen to me, you then share your thoughts with me about what you think. I appreciate your feed back or your opinion. But your opinion is often condescending or it contradicts what I said in someway. In someway your words are demeaning, the make me feel like my opinion is small or of less value than your opinion.
I get frustrated because I have to console myself and remind myself that my feelings are in fact valid. This is how I feel, and I told you my reasons. Yet you still feel the need to correct more or look down on me.
They say:
"That's how I felt when I was your age. "
-Wow you are really relating to me. You are really making a connection in trying to understand my situation and feelings. No actually ma'am, I feel like you are pushing my problems to the side, because it secretly bothers you and my problems secretly burden you so you are putting it to the side because you don't want to deal with it. I appreciate you listening to me, but what kind of help is that? What do I do with that comment? How do I apply it to my life?
As a 16 year old, I am acknowledging the fact that I don't know everything, but I am seeking your help, and that's all you can give me? What do I do with this advice?
I am trying to absorb all of the knowledge I can.
I try to mean every word I say.
I don't want to waste your time.
I'm drowning in doubt, I'm lonely, I want help...Don't you understand?
Opening up is hard thing to do in and of itself.
I understand if you don't understand. That's okay, whatever.
It's a little upsetting, but whatever.
What upsets me is what you do next.
You realize you don't understand so you don't try to.
You give no effort. You dismiss my problems as a worthless cause and brush it away.
Now look how you have hit me.
What I do?
But Why I listen to them....
When Adults tell you the stories of their past and some of the problems they went through, it can be inspiring. Because, it makes you realize that they survived. They were once like you and they once felt things similar to you.
Hearing their stories is encouraging because you can relate to them in some way.
They also speak with authority.
There is power in their voice.
They have a level of confidence that is reassuring to an insecure teenager.
They are stable. Or at least they appear to be.
They also talk about life.
Life is the most important topic, and often the most realistic one.
I am a different teenager, because I can't relate to my peers and often try not to. They are always fixated on materialistic things and the here and the now. I look more towards the noble deeds of the past. I look at history and am inspired. I look towards to future for hope and change. I find this interesting kind of talk in only Adults. Teenagers often won't get off of Instagram or Snapchat long enough to have a real conversation with me. I have a Snapchat, but I am so disconnected with it. Was I meant to be born in a different time period? I don't even like the pop culture trends and tastes. Steampunk intrigues me more.
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This girl's dress is tight. She also looks like she is trying to impress someone. I don't like this dress. I don't like her composure.
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I feel like this is more stylish and elegant. This woman is actually smiling what appears to be a genuine smile. The jewelry flatters her figure and the dress goes well with it. Her boobs and thighs aren't inappropriately poking out of the dress.
