Regrets and Excuses

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*Meredith's POV*

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*Meredith's POV*

Right as the elevator doors are about to open, I take a deep breath. How the hell can Derek be alive? I saw them pull the plug right in front of me.

I step out onto the fourth floor and make my way to Bailey's office. She's standing there with a man in a white coat, and Amelia.

Bailey steps up and says, "Meredith, this is possibly the hardest thing anyone has had to deal with but...let me just take you through the facts. This is Mike, from the morgue. He was going to do the autopsy when he saw Derek's pupils react to the light. I'm sure you're familiar with Lazarus syndrome. This occurrence is extremely rare, as you know, but...miracles do happen. Anyway, Dr. Russell ran a TEE to make sure everything was fine and Dr. Anders confirmed that there are no long-term neurological deficits. He wasn't speaking for a while but now he has regained all speech and motor function. I...We can take you up to see him now if you'd like. But please, take all the time you need."

Bailey and Mike exited the room, and now it was just Amelia and Meredith. After a long silence, Amelia quietly said:

"Why did I have to hear from Owen that Derek had gotten in an accident...when were you going to tell me?"

"Amelia, I couldn't live, I couldn't breathe. It was like I was drowning and I couldn't come up for fresh air."

"It doesn't matter. He's my freaking brother. After my dad died, Derek was all I had left. He saved me when I OD'd. He saved me when I relapsed. He saved me when my baby boy died in my arms. And you were never going to tell me. I thought all the men I have ever loved in my life had died when Owen told me about Derek. And to think that I missed the chance to say goodbye to my brother..."

"Amelia, I..."

She held her hands up, signaling that she didn't want to hear Meredith's excuses anymore. She walked to the door and exited the room, shedding silent tears, leaving Meredith behind.

...

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