What You Don't Know - A Tom Holland Fic (WIP)

Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"Cut!" the director calls. The crew scatters and some people come up to me to touch up my makeup. Polly gives me a sympathetic look as she powders my face.

"Don't worry doll, you'll get it." she tries to assure me.

I nod and just squeeze my eyes tight. The director, Sasha Dane, approaches me. She has a kind smile on her face, but I can tell by the look in her eyes that she is just as frustrated as I am.

"Cordelia, what's going on? I know you know how to do this. You did it all the time in your last movie, right?" I nod. "Then what gives?"

"I don't know, Sasha. I'm trying, but nothing is happening."

"Try thinking of dead puppies." Polly interjects.

"It's a bit more complex than that." I murmur under my breath. I've been trying to cry for this scene for the past hour. But this isn't just any scene. This is the scene. The scene from the book that made young girls and women all over america weep along with Ivy. This is the scene where she realizes Sebastian is leaving town, perhaps indefinitely, leaving her behind after he promised to get her out. This is the scene after she finds the most eloquent and tragic letter anyone in the history of the world has ever recieved, and she breaks down. She runs to Sebastian's house, where she confronts him, before he drives off on his motorcycle, leaving her sobbing in the middle of the street. And so far, I haven't cried a single tear.

It's ridiculous. In Stained Glass Sky, I was crying every other scene with no problem. My drama teacher in high school told me I had a natural gift for crying on command. But here, now, when it matters the most, I can't.

"I'll try again." I tell Sasha.

"Okay." She says, before striding back to video village. She takes a moment. Someone comes between me and the camera and slates the scene. "And... Action!"

"How could you?" I yell,as I approach Tom. "Sebastian, how could you? How dare you leave me like this?"

Tom, Sebastian, gives me a sad and broken look. "Ivy-"

"You promised me! You told me you loved me!"

"Ivy, I do but-"

"Then why are you leaving me like this? Why are you leaving?

And... Cry.

Cry.

For fuck's sake, cry!

"Cut!" Sasha cries out. "Everyone take ten!" She rests her face in her hands and lets out a frustrated moan.

Someone hands me a robe to cover up the yellow sundress I'm wearing and I walk off towards my trailer, without giving Tom so much as a word. I feel angry at myself for screwing this up. How goddamn hard is it to cry on command? I get into my trailer and slam the door, collapsing onto the sofa before screaming into a pillow. There's a knock on the door.

"What?" I yell, my voice muffled from the pillow.

Tom enters, because of course he does, in costume, leather jacket and all. "How you doing?" He asks.

"How do you think?" I mumble into the fabric of the sofa. He sits at my feet and pats my back.

"Hey, it's normal. No one's blaming you if you can't get it up." I chuck the pillow at his face, making him laugh.

"Tom, this is serious! This has never happened to me before. I'm an amazing crier."

"Everyone has their off days."