Far From Normal

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Revealing.

When I got home my parents were still gone so I had time to clean up the mess. I realized that Odessa still had Lace's shirt and my moms pants but I'm sure those 2 pieces of clothing won't be missed. I quickly clean up the kitchen and the pillows and blankets. I smile at the thought of her as I clean the two coffee mug. I run upstairs and close Lace's door and decide to shower and brush my teeth.

Tugging at my lip ring with my teeth I roll it around and fall asleep in my warm and comfortable bed with her smile swarming in my mind.

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"What the fuck?" I say when a loud ring sounds in my ear and wakes me up.

"I haven't seen you since the parade thing! Hi!" Sky shouts into my ear turning off the ringing sound that comes from his phone.

"I know. I've been busy and the streets were blocked," I say. Truth was I wasn't busy. My parents called to say they were staying at my aunts to help them settle into their new house for a couple days and I hadn't talked to myste-- I mean Odessa since Sunday, when I dropped her off.

"Whatever. I was just stopping by on my way to work. I can drop you off at the cemetery if you like?" He asks gently.

Sighing I jump out of bed and change into my black pants and white dress shirt, leaving the top buttons open and slip into my black vans.

Today was Lace's birthday. I visit her on days I know she would appreciate and try not to wallow in self pity. I run out to Sky's car where he's listening to "You Me At Six". Stay with me sounded through the speakers and we both started to sing along.

You've got a lot to say for the one that walked away

I give you take

That's the way it's always been

Oh how do I know if I should stay or just go?

The bottom line is this way that I'll never know.

We sang along to it the entire way to the cemetery and laughed when we both would mess up on the lyrics. Sky drove up to the cemetery's gates. I thanked him and and opened the car door and stepped out. Waving him off I started walking to her grave at a slow pace, counting the breaths that I took.

"Hey sis. Happy birthday. " I start off.

"How are you?" I wait for a response that I know will never come.

"I hope you're doing well. I mean I don't really know if you're in heaven or if heaven even exists because well frankly if it did then why did you have to go there? I guess I'm just trying to say that I wish you were here for your birthday and for me. I went on the train with a girl. She loved it and she sort of reminded me of you when she smiled at the sights we pass by. Everything reminds me of you though." At this point I knew I was crying but I ignored it and continued.

"Mom and Dad would be here but you know they can't handle the realization that you're gone.... For good. I honestly don't even know if I can but yet here I am every few months hoping if I show up and talk to you enough the pain will lessen." I sit down on the grass in front of her gravestone.

For hours I sat there and ran my fingers through the grass, feeling the smooth blades that grew all around. I lay my head against her stone and sigh lightly. The wind blew past me and I could have sworn I heard it howling my name. Was she here? Did I even believe in ghosts? If I did it was probably just wishful thinking.