My Precious Gem

Chapter three

Chapter three

“Sometimes somethin' beautiful happens

In this world

You don't know how to express yourself

So you just gotta sing

I just had sex and it felt so good(Felt so good)

A woman let me put my penis inside of her

I just had sex and I'll never go back(Never go back)

To the not-having-sex ways of the past

Have you ever had sex? I have, it felt great

It felt so good when I did it with my penis

A girl let me do it, it literally just happened

Havin' sex can make a nice man out the meanest”

I promise I still have my V-card!

I am not a gardening tool!

If you know what I mean.

My mom was just staring dead set at us her golden eyes ready to pop.

Us being Alex and I.

We sing a lonely island song every day at dinner.

And today is ‘I just had sex’

Yesterday’s song was much worse though.

We sang ‘the creep.’

While dancing it too.

Imagine two teenagers in the dining room

Flapping their hands around like a marionette.

Popping their keens up and down.

Knees flexin’.

Arms T-Rexing.

Poor mom she doesn’t know her kids are coo-coo for coco puffs!

Now I have a coco puffs craving!

Coco puffs with Nutella.

Oh yeah baby!

That’s the stuff right there!

Sorry about that I didn’t mean to bring the chocolate hoe out.

Sigh.

I think I’m going to marry chocolate and end all my other affairs.

“I didn’t realize I gave birth to two guys!” Mom says quizzically.

 She thinks I am a guy?

I do not have penis! I swear.

What if I did and it was a strap on?

A purple strap on!

She probably thinks I’m gay now considering today its meatball Tuesday.

“Mom I’m a unicorn! She’s the guy.” Alex spits out with a dead serious tone.

My brothers a unicorn?

“Hehe I get it cause unicorns are horny!” I say out loud.

Let’s just say when Alex brings his boyfriends over…

 The ghosts aren’t the only ones moaning.

Alex then throws a meatball at my face like right in the eye!

Tomato sauce in my eye!

AHHH!!!

I grab the glass of water forgetting that its actually soda.