Unrequited (The Outsiders ship fic)

Ch 4. Ash

Ponyboy POV

Johnny showed up to school! That's good news, to me at least. I wasn't expecting him to, but I found him when I went for a bathroom break during 3rd period.
He was leaned against a wall right outside the bathroom smoking a cigarette. Didn't he know he could get in trouble for that?
I walked up behind him, "Johnny-"
He jumped and quickly crumpled the cig in this hand to put it out. He saw it was me and, as soon as he processed it, winced in pain and buckled his knees and shouted.
"Damn!" I said, despite myself. In my defense, that was crazy.
After a couple seconds he regained his composure and spoke.
"Sorry, P-Pony," he said shakily. He opened his hand, his palm covered in ash and it was red.
"That was fucking tough... Looks like it hurt," I said, walking closer to him to look at his hand. I held his hand with one and picked up the cigarette butt with my other.
"It did!" he said, but he was smiling. He probably didn't get people calling him tough a lot. Maybe if he did that more... But if it hurt he probably shouldn't.
"What are doin' smoking at school anyway? You could probably get expelled for that kinda thing."
"Shoot, Pony," he said, scratching the back of his neck, "Im goin' crazy! I don't see how you're not goin' mad everyday around here."
I shrugged. I'm not the one here trying to balance school with a confusing relationship with my buddy that's made up entirely of kissing occasionally. At least as far as I know they just kissed...
"How're you n Dally?" I asked him.
"He said he wished he was my boyfriend," he said, tilting his head back, shutting his eyes and lighting another cig. He looked more stressed out than I ever saw him.
"Ah! That's good, right?" I said questionably.
"I guess."
I watched the cigarette dangle loosely from his lips. There he goes again, risking expulsion. If I hear he can't come to school anymore tomorrow I'm not giving him mercy.
But that was a lie and I knew it-lyin to myself is hard. I don't know what I'd do without my best friend at school, even if we don't talk here.

Dally POV

I waited outside the school, staring down the superintendent who was giving me dirty looks every time I whipped out my pack of sticks. I'm just here to see Johnny, I reminded myself, no use fighting some old broad to smoke around a bunch of kids.
The bell rang, but I didn't see the boys for at least two minutes. I can't remember if they always got out late like that, because I almost never pick them up. I usually have something more important to do with my time at 3 in the afternoon on a week day.
Two-bit walked out the gate with his hair matted, but his face was pouting. I sighed and asked him what's wrong, even though I didn't especially want to know. He probably wanted to tell me. Ya sacrifice your time and energy for your buds like that sometimes, jus5 something you have to do. I'm such a great friend.
"Eh. I thought I was gettin' somewhere with Marcia, man. I coulda swore she was gonna kiss me from the way she grabbed my hair!" He slowed down and let out a chuckle, "But you know how it is..."
I wondered what she could have possibly done to embarrass a guy like Two-bit. His face faintly pink and he was obviously hiding why she actually grabbed him. I didn't dwell on it for too long though, once I saw Johnny walk out the gate.
Ponyboy was walking with him, holding one of his hands with both of his.
Two-bit kept flashing me this look. He must have seen me staring.
I can't tell if he actually picked up on why though, because I think he's pretty stupid. If he did he didn't say anything about it though. I could give a shit if he saw me looking, I was focused on Ponyboy. My teeth grind in frustration, my hands clench into fists.
Dammit! Dumb kid, making me feel shit. Johnny even has control over when I'm pissed off now? Fuck...

Johnny POV

Pony's hands are warm-not like I need my hand to be any hotter. The burning sensation wouldn't stop, but I tried not to look like a wimp.
I really only did it because he scared me. I didn't have time to think about tossing my cigarette to the ground, I just closed my hand on instinct. I sure am glad it wasn't a teacher, or some socs, cause I would've started bawling. I swear it didn't hurt so bad when a Ponyboy said it was tough.
He's clearly a lot more worried than impressed now, since it's been a couple hours and it's blistered.
"Darry's gonna make you get it bandaged if he sees the blister," he said, softly running the flat of his thumb over it.
The burning feeling flared way up at his touch. I winced and whined quietly, pulling my hand back.
"Oh, shit!" he said in a panicked voice as he put an arm over my shoulder and held my wrist instead of my hand, "Sorry, Johnny..."
I winced again when he held my wrist. It's always something, isn't it, I thought angrily to myself. I have bruises all over my arms hidden under my sleeves. I tried desperately not to show that it hurt.
His arm around me, his head close to my shoulder, him holding my wrist and the back of my hand in his. I bit my lip to stop from annoyingly whining about my stupid bruises.
There are probably people staring, I thought. Is Ponyboy thinking the same thing, or was he just so focused on me to think about it? I don't love being the center of attention. I started to blush and I pulled away from him.
"Oh, damn, sorry Johnny! Did I touch it again? Does it hurt that bad?"
"Does what hurt that bad?" I heard a voice say.
I realized suddenly that we had made it out the gate and were now standing by Two-bit and Dallas. So Pony was paying attention to something else, cause I sure as hell wasn't paying attention to where we were walking.
Pony opened his mouth with a proud grin to explain what I did, but I stopped him.
"N-nothing. I-I ran into a poll a-a couple hours ago, stubbed my toe," I nodded.
Ponyboy isn't exactly famous for always using his head, but I prayed he could understand that I didn't want Dally to know. I wouldn't want to worry him.
But Dally was gritting his teeth, and he looked angry.
Oh god, I thought, he can see right through me. What if he thinks we're lying about something bigger? What if he thinks Pony and me fucked in a bathroom stall or something, and my leg was cramped up from standing in an awkward position? It's Dallas, he's always thinking about sex, that's probably where his mind would go first.
I could feel myself panicking. My hands were sweating, and it stung my blister.
Dal will never want to see me again if he thought me and Pony were fucking. He'd call me a disgusting cheating pig and hit me, because I know he could, and storm out and the whole gang would blame me for dragging him out forever. Then they'd kick me out of the group and I'd have to stay home with my parents all the time. Ponyboy would never forgive me for making Dallas think that.
I felt my throat swell up. My eyes stung with tears. My heart raced.
Don't cry, you stupid idiot, they'll just get more worried. You want them o crowd around you, getting all worried about you, asking you a million times what's wrong? You shouldn't be burdening them with your stupid anxious thinking. You're making yourself cry. Weak dumbass.

Ponyboy POV

Johnny croaked in a low whisper, "I-I'm gonna go to the bathroom..." and then started speed walking away.
"Oh," I muttered, then I shouted for him to hear from as far as he already was, "We'll be waiting here!" and he started to run at full speed.
I can't imagine why he lied about the burn. If it was me, I'd be showing it off to Dally! He'd be real proud of Johnny for doing something tough and hard like that. It probably hurts like hell to crush a cigarette in your hand, but he did it like it was just normal. Course right after you could tell it wasn't normal for him, but still!
I also can't imagine why Dal looked so angry now. I couldn't think about it long though, every time I look at Dallas I think about him kissing Johnny. I'm not like some creep, it just got to me. Why would he kiss Johnny if he was resisting? He was fighting it. He didn't want to be kissed, but he was pinned against a wall by a guy a lot bigger and a lot stronger than him. That just ain't right.
Then something else got me. He was at Buck's party the night before with Two. He always brags about picking up girls at those parties to have sex and drink. Didn't he tell Johnny he wanted to be his boyfriend?
I already didn't like Dallas Winston. He's tough and hard and mean, a hood from New York. But he's closer to a soc than a greaser, for how much he don't feel. But Johnny's a good kid, he can't treat him like this.
What's worse is I don't know if Johnny loves Dally. I'm the youngest and I can never use my head right, so just about the hardest thing in the world for me is dissecting other people's emotions any further than platonic. I'd love it for Cherry Valence to feel the same way about me that I do for her, even if I am just some greaser nerd 3 years younger than her. But if she did, I wouldn't know it unless she spelled it out for me using the basic vocabulary of a fourth grader. I couldn't figure it out any other way.
Anyway, I worry about Johnny, if he does love him. He'll be crushed. He doesn't deserve that, and to be honest, I don't trust Dallas not to do that to him.
I was thinkin' about it for a while I guess. I checked the time and it had been six minutes since Johnny went to the bathroom. Dally must have seen me check, because he noticed too and said that somebody should check on him.
Two-bit put his hand meaningfully on Dally's shoulder, "Go get him, Tiger."
Dallas put him in a chokehold and was angrily muttering at him. As I walked back inside the gate of the school, I wondered if that was just Two being Two, or if he actually knew about their relationship.
He was sniffling in a stall when I found him. Again he jumped when I approached it, but this time he wasn't smoking.
"Pony!... I'm sorry... How long's it been?" He asked quietly, opening the stall door and looking down.
"Like, two minutes," I lied. He looked worried enough.
His body was shaking. I didn't want to ask him what was wrong, because he honestly probably won't want to talk about it. He usually doesn't when stuff like this happens.
"You okay?" I asked, "We could stay here for a minute, they'll be patient."
His eyes widened, he looked back into the stall. He shook his head wildly, muttering that we can just go now.