For the longest time

V

I didn't know the dress code for SNL, so I just threw clean clothes on and made my way to the studio. Since all I had was a text from a guy named Ed in my phone, security wouldn't let me in. I should've known. I felt really discouraged and was about to make my way back to the motel, or maybe a near bar when my phone rang.

"Hey, I don't think I thought this through," I said once I heard Ed's voice on the other line. "They won't let me in."

"Oh." As weird as it seems, I could actually hear his smile fading through the phone. Maybe it was my imagination, but I liked to think that he smiled when he talked to me. I liked to think he was excited to hang out with me.  "No no no, lemme think, alright? I can't leave now cos the show's starting in ten minutes but-"

I interrupted him, "it's fine, Ed. I'll go..."

"Wait there."

The line went dead.

I stood next to the bodyguards, seeing girls walking in short skirts and beautiful tops and I felt so out of place with my jeans and my Oasis t-shirt. Some guys gave me a nasty look. Probably Blur fans. Idiots.

"Are you Erin?"

I turned around and saw a man with a black hoodie and a credential for SNL. He was out of breath, apparently, he came running. I nodded.

"Yeah, guys. She's good. Let her in."

His name was Stuart and he was Ed's manager. He explained to me as we walked down a long corridor that Ed should've given me a proper invitation but instead he just had him running around like an idiot. He was smiling and I didn't know what to say. 

"You're a shy one, aren't ya?" he grinned at me.

I shrugged, "maybe?"

He chuckled, "you know, he told me about you." My eyes went wide open. Did musicians really have a close relationship with their managers? "Yeah, he did," he chuckled when he noticed my expression. "We're good mates, alright? And also, maybe it's not my place to say this, Erin, but I think he could use a friend like you. He's been so down and paranoid lately, and from what I've heard about you, maybe you two could be good for each other, ya know?"

I felt overexposed. I didn't like it, but I nodded and he led me to an empty chair in the middle of the theater. He smiled at me and left. I was surrounded by people. Most of them came in groups or in dates and it was awkward to be there by myself. 

The lights dimmed and a skit about Republicans at Coachella started. I didn't get much of it, I was really tired. I had been looking for jobs all day again. No success whatsoever. Maybe I can go to libraries tomorrow, they don't get tips there, but it could work.

I spent half of the show thinking about how to make a living here in New York, not really paying attention to the people performing. And then I heard his name.

Ed Sheeran!

People were cheering and clapping and most of them stood up. I guess, out of habit, I followed the crowd and stood up as well.

It's late in the evening
Glass on the side now
I've been sat with you
For most of the night

He played his guitar without a loop pedal and his voice sounded clean through the speakers. The background was black and he was wearing a blue or black sweater and jeans. And a smile. The same smile I'd seen the night before. The genuinely fake smile.

I knew the song and I liked it and I was tapping my foot on the floor. When he reached the chorus, the lights behind him went on, revealing a band that joined him for the rest of the song. I think I gasped, I didn't see that coming and it sounded great. People were clapping along and singing along and everybody was having a great time, including me. Including Ed. He looked so confident and happy and I felt that way too. I wondered if moments could be encapsulated for later. I really didn't want the moment to end. 

But all things end eventually. And when the show was over, people started getting up from their seats, recollecting their things, and heading for the exit. I sat there, along with the bright lights and the people who worked for SNL clearing the stage. I stayed there until a security man asked me to leave.

Outside, the wind had started to blow even harder and I felt cold. I wanted to move, go back to the motel or something, but I didn't really want to do that. I knew I wanted to leave, but I didn't know where I wanted to go. The sidewalk had become less crowded and there was only me and a group of friends who were commenting on the show, waiting for their Uber to arrive.

I lit up a cigarette when I felt my phone vibrate in my jeans. My fingers were so cold it took me three tries to slide the screen and answer. "It wasn't a shitshow."

His chuckle made my heart a little warmer and I smiled. "It was alright. Thank you for coming, honest."

The silence between us made me think that I was crazy, that this whole thing was crazy. We knew nothing about each other, we didn't even know how to have a normal conversation on the phone. It was beginning to get awkward, hearing his breathing and exhaling the smoke from my lips. 

"Well, it's late... I guess I should go-"

"Erin," my name on his lips stopped every single thought that was racing through my mind. And I waited for him to say something else. "Do you want to do something?"

I smiled to myself. The people next to me were getting into the car and soon after I was alone. But Ed was on the other side of the phone and for a moment I felt hopeful.

"What did you have in mind?"

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Hey there beautiful people! I know this is super short but I wanted to keep moving the story. Any kind of feedback will be greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading.

-TJ