The night ends the same way it began. A total bust...
I stop by Edgars on the way home.
I'm not surprised to find Robert there. He's drunk already. His sailor suit is stained with what looks like barbecue sauce.
Robert is a doll, by the way. Like, literally....
"Why the long face?" Robert asks me. He puts it that way on purpose. Bad jokes are his specialty...
I join him at the bar and order a cold one. I won't be drinking it though; I just like the feel of it in my hand. It soothes me.
"Cat got your tongue?" asks Robert.
The joke's on him, this time, because I actually do have a tongue. I mean, I probably do.
It's true I don't have a mouth, though ... so I can't eat, drink or talk. The last one doesn't bother me though. I prefer being quiet anyway.
Robert and I are good buddies. We complement each other pretty well. He's the sort of guy who's happy doing all the talking, so long as it's about himself. I'm more of the listening type.
Right now he's telling me about the movie they're making about him at the moment. "Can you believe it? I'm gonna be a star!" he gushes.
I can.
Robert and I are sort of celebrities in the human world. As much as monsters can be...
"You should see the shmuck they've got playing me, though. Looks nothing like me!"
He tries to laugh it off, but I can tell he's disappointed he wasn't asked to appear in it.
"Where's my royalty-check, that's what I want to know!" Robert burps loudly.
He looks wistful for a moment. "You remember Chucky?" he asks.
I nod. Chucky was pretty big in the 90s...
"I bumped into him the other day..." Robert says. "You know that hack has a mansion in Beverley Hills? He paid for it with the money he got from Child's Play." Robert downs the rest of his drink, then stares sorrowfully into his now empty glass. "Where's my mansion, huh? He gets one and I don't? How's that fair?"
Robert has a point.
Most of us monsters work for the love of the job. It's not a business model that pays very well. Superstars like Chucky are the exception...
I wonder if they'll ever make a movie about me.
I try to imagine what it'd be like...
How would it begin?
How would it end?
I quickly dismiss the thought.
The movies never get it right...
They never get us right.
I wave goodbye to Robert and head for home.
It's five minutes past curfew.
Mother will be furious.
YOU ARE READING
Total Creep
HorrorA day in the life of Slenderman, the world's most misunderstood monster. Join us for a walk through his favourite haunts. Bask in his small victories and wallow in his despair. Meet his enemies and hang out with his weird friends. His mum is in...
