Her Blessing In Disguise ||On going||

Chapter 1.

Rowan
 Thirteen years.

After that day, I tried getting closer to them but they seemed to try their hardest to keep away from me. During the time my mum was pregnant with my little sister Jamie. I wanted to go over to Sadie's house to play and I had remind her of the plans Rita made with Sadie's mum.

When I got downstairs, she was lying down on the couch in front of the TV, watching a movie, her belly was already so enormous. She acted like she didn't notice my presence when I entered the room, I slowly walked up to her and asked, "Mum? Hey, I'm going over to Sadie's to hang out. Did Rita tell you?"

 She just looked up at me and went back to watching tv, acting like she didn't just see me. I couldn't hold back my frustration at her lack of attention to her own child.

"Mummy please, what did I do wrong? Why does it seem like you guys hate me!" I screamed, my face suddenly wet with tears. I had no idea when I started crying.

She finally looked at me and I could see she was surprised, then I watched her face change from shock to angry.

She pushed herself upright so she could sit and, anger burning in her strikingly blue eyes like mine. "Oh Rowan, sweet sweet stupid Rowan" she suddenly started laughing.

"All we want is for you to stay hidden and you can't even do that! So how do you expect us not to hate you? You were a goddamn mistake! A mistake that was never supposed to happen and definitely wasn't supposed to be born," she stopped to breath then continued. "But here you are, instead of thanking us for giving you life, you ungrateful child.... You want more?" She started laughing harder now.

"You want love? Is that it?" She asked with hatred burning in her eyes .

She sickly waited for me to respond so I nodded slowly because I couldn't find my voice to reply.

"Well, You're not getting anything else from us. We have given you more than we can give. We brought you to this world—not because we wanted to you but because my asshole of a father was too religious to allow me remove the unwanted baby from MY OWN BODY!— If you want anything else, I'll be happy to disappoint you, you are not getting anything else.

That was the last day we really had that conversation and the day I gave up on trying to get my parents love.

The day my little sister Jamie Jade Winters was born, She became my parents pride and joy. They didn't hate her. . . No, on the contrary, they showed her off proudly and happily. They finally let go off Rita—the only person who was ever there for me. My mum stopped working to care for the baby. They showered so much love on Jamie, the love they were saving for the child they wanted.

I should have hated her for this, I should have hated my sister but when I thought of it, thought of me hating her for their lack of love for me, i just couldn't.

Since Rita left, I had to start taking the bus to school so I thought they would make Jamie do the same on her first day so as we were having breakfast, i promised her I'll be there to take her to school and pick her up later.

She looked at me funny,
"Ro, Daddy said he would take me to school today. He said it is my special day and Mummy also told me she will be there to pick me up but you are coming with me, right?" she told me, with her mouth full of Cheerios

I didn't respond, I pretended to be more interested in my breakfast. Jamie hadn't really noticed how differently our parents treated us.

"Right Ro? You are going to come with me?" she demanded again.

I shrugged.

If dad allows me, sure, but I didn't say that but she seemed okay with my reply, and continued eating her breakfast happily.

Ten minutes later, he joined us on the table, we both say good morning and as usual, he doesn't look at me as he answered my greeting with a nod before he walked towards Jamie's direction and dropped a kiss on her forehead and smiled. He made his coffee and sat down, picking up the newspaper the cook dropped for him with his breakfast. I focused on my food but at that moment, Jamie decided to ask my dad if I could come along.

"Daddy?"

"Yeah baby?"

"Ro is coming to school with us. She doesn't have to take the bus today right?"

My dad finally looked up at Jamie and dropped his paper. He then slowly folded his arms across his chest.

He narrowed his gaze at me, "Yeah baby, she can follow us." He then smiled tightly at me and raised his wrist to look at his watch. Standing up, he told Jamie go to the car first. She bounced happily to the car. She probably thought she did something good by me and now everything is okay but she had no idea that she just made things worse for me.

As she disappeared out the door, my dad finally looked at me and said.

"So you had to use Jamie to get a ride with us?" His blue eyes which sometimes turned pale was filled with a coldness I've seen in my mother's eyes. The way they looked at me was heartbreaking enough. They reserved this look for me and it was always between us, to other people they made us look like the loving family. But it's a different story when we are alone.

He smiled when he noticed me wince, he then lowered his voice into a whisper, "Make damn sure you never pull this again." I quickly nod my head and looked down.

"I'm sorry Dad. It won't happen again."

On the way to school, I was too disheveled to try to stay in a conversion with Jamie so I let just her and dad fill the silence with their singing while I was struck in my head reliving this morning. I should have told Jamie no.I sighed quietly and prayed for the next five years to come as fast as possible so I can go off to college and be far away from this town and this family.