downtown miami

一

Sunday
i drove around to look for an IHOb for breakfast before church, and i rode past a Popeyes.. "damn.. they chicken smell good..." i muttered. i decided to treat myself and go get some food.

on my way out, some guy was on the sidewalk, getting yelled at for sitting on Popeyes' property. "sir you can't sit here.." the worker said. "are you Regina George!" the homeless man yelled. the employee just looked at him and said "sir are you high?"
his response was "hello" and i got in my car before anything else happened and the man looked around, got up, and started walking towards my car. i averted my eyes and ate my chicken. fuck. he opened the car door and sat down. "aye can you take me to my friends house?" he muttered. fucking crackheads... "uh.. aight.. what's the address?"

25 minutes later 😒

i pulled up to this house that had dirt all over it. MUSTY. anyways... "you can get out now." i smacked the crackhead on the arm. "um can you walk me up, in case i get shot?"

"what the fuck?" i looked at him weird. "please!" he grabbed my arm and shook it. whatever.

i got out the car and walked him up. some man answered the door and lemme tell you, as soon as the door opened, i was smacked in the face with the smell of WEED 😳

"DAMN!" i yelled and he gave me a weird look. "Tae who tf is this" he asked. "oh um! Yoongi, this is uh-"
"Namjoon." i cut him off. "wathup dog"

he grabbed my hand and  smacced my back. "come inside.."

i walked in and his house was surprisingly cold. i was expecting a hot ass crackhouse but i guess not. i looked in his living room and there were two thick hoes, laying on the couch, counting money. one was white 🗿😒, and one was black 😳😍.
"these are my co-workers, Kneesha, and Xania." he pointed to the heux.

"yoongi shut up for a second! 430, 450, 460, 461, 561, 566..." the white queen spoke. "damn you got $566 already?" the black queen looked shocked and kept counting her money. "they uh,, anyways you want pickle juice?" Taehyung asked me. "nah im good." i gave him the 🤨 face and looked away.

"$973!" the white hoe screamed 🗿
"i got $924." the other one said. "what's 973 + 924, yoongi?" they asked in unison. "uhh.. that'th.." he looked up acting as if he knew the answer 😒. "1,897." i said and they both looked over at me. "who is this?"

"Namjoon." Tae went ✋🤪🤚. "guys i really gotta get to work so.." i started to walk to the door until TAE grabbed my arm 🗿. "wait wait!" he ran off. 🤨

he came back with a jar filled with my little pony figures. "you want pony?😎" he asked me. what the actual FUCK goes on in his head? i sighed and took a pony outta the damn jar and finally got to leave.

as i pulled up to the church, i noticed one of the guys that comes all the time with his friend, didn't have his friend with him. his name was Seokjin and his friend was Jimin i walked over to him and was about to greet him when a thing hopped outta the car. they were wearing a dog costume? it turned around and wagged it's tail. "Jimin stop. please." Jin begged. he looked over to me and sighed. "pastor, can you please heal him? i don't know what's wrong with him. he keeps saying he's furry and i don't know what that means and now all of a sudden he has this costume and i just-" the mans broke down crying. "ill see what i can do...😞" i pat his shoulder.

"ok mr. jimin-" i spoke

"it's Black Ivy." he said. "huh? 🤨" i asked him. "that's this fursona's name 😔" the dog man responded. "that's the what 🤡"

"im a furry! i am a dog! 😡😡" he growled at me. "oh my god..." i looked at him in shock. "are you okay? do you need to talk to someone?"
"no! there's nothing wrong with me i was born this way! 😭😭" he kept being an emoji. "damn.. ok.. i respect that ✊️"

[after work 😎🤙]

i went to iHOb for dinner and guess who i saw 🗿🗿. "HEYY ITS MR FART!" he yelled. "oh lord please help me." i silently prayed. "CAN I EAT WITH YOU?" he 🤤d. "um-"

"YAY 😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎" he picked up his menu and walked over to me.

"uhh my name is Xania-" she paused. "oh. what y'all want to drink? 😔🖐"

"i would like a water." i said. "uhh... do y'all have 🧐🤨" he looked at the menu. "i want the fruit punch and a peach lemonade 😎" the fuckin pickle man ordered his drinks. "K" she walked away.

"so you really boutta get two drinks?" i asked him. "one for peepee, one for poopoo 🤨." he looked at me like i was stupet. "🎃" i-

"here's y'all's drinks. what you gonna eat?" Xania came back. "um ill have the-" i was cut off 😒. "I WANT THE MEGA MONSTER 😏🤤🖐✊️" he screamed. she wrote down his order and looked at me. "ill have... french toast, with eggs and bacon, and a side of hash browns."