Max Crumbly x Female Reader "Locker Hero"

5. Why I stuck my toes in my sister's bowl of popcorn

I have a huge collection of superhero comic books, and I actually write and draw my own.

I'm NOT going to LIE to you. I take all of this stuff VERY seriously.

I've done a ton of research on what it would take to become a real superhero (AND to impress (Y/n), but we both know that would never happen..) and it's extremely complicated and pretty intense.

Like, for example, the whole superpower thing.

Unfortunately, my uncanny, almost superhuman ability to smell pizza from a block away won't save any lives.

And the double-jointed, extra-long claw-like TOES I inherited from my father won't help me stop a criminal dead in his tracks. Although, weird toes could be invaluable in helping a wannabe-superhero-in-training scavenge for food. HOW?

I simply place my claw-like toes in my older sister Megan's bowl of popcorn and ask innocently . . .

This will effectively gross her out SO badly that she'll shriek, roll her eyes at me, and angrily stomp off to her bedroom to call her "BFF" and rant about how much she HATES MY GUTS!

Basically leaving said bowl of hot, buttery popcorn unattended for MY eating pleasure. YUM!!

The other major headache is putting together a cool superhero costume that makes evil villains tremble in their boots at the mere sight of you. . . .

1. DON'T buy one of those cheap kiddie costumes that you can get on clearance at your local dollar store the week AFTER Halloween.

No one will take you seriously as Super Ghost if you're wearing a white plastic tablecloth with big green eyeballs on it and a red sticker on your chest that says "CLEARANCE! ALL SALES FINAL!"

2. DON'T let your MOM make you a "supercute" homemade costume. Especially if it includes glitter, feathers, fake diamonds, more glitter, sequins, the color pink, even more glitter, and/or platform boots (or else you would embarrass yourself in front of your CRUSH!)

Also, absolutely REFUSE to let her talk you into calling yourself Super Glittery Guy because the costume she made you is "totally FIERCE"!

3. DON'T recycle one of your tacky OLD Halloween costumes. EVER! Always remember! Recycling is for cans and plastic bottles. NOT superhero costumes.

Unfortunately, I learned Rule #3 the hard way.

My grandma spent two months sewing me an authentic costume of an iconic hero that was adored by her and millions of fans around the world back in 1964. He was known for performing superhuman moves never before seen by mankind.

I STILL have very traumatic recurring nightmares about that costume. . . .

(Prepare yourself for some mild cringe!)

WARNING!! Never forget that superheroes are SUPER sensitive about their costumes.

Do you have any idea how many people have actually DIED after DISSING a superhero's costume?!

Approximately seven citizens and nineteen villains.

Electrostatic Man actually ZAPPED his OWN MOTHER with 10,000 watts after she accidentally called his ultra-thin nylon protective leg gear . . .

PANTYHOSE!!

Of course, everyone in the superhero world was shocked, appalled, and outraged when they heard what had happened.

That heinous act was cruel and disrespectful on so many levels.

The good news is that Electrostatic Man's MOTHER won't EVER make THAT stupid mistake again!

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(Btw plz check out my other stories!!)

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