Behind these blue eyes

Tonight

Anthony's P.O.V

So ever since i saw Ian writing in that journal, I've been dying to know what he's been putting in it. But i think i'll start crying if i read it.. And he'd probably kill me. Maybe i could get my chance tonight, Joven's having a party and i don't feel up to it so he'll go and i'll have a couple of hours. Good plan.

I have something to confess. I.. I um.. I think i love Ian. I know it sound weird but i broke up with kalel because of it. And he broke up with Melanie (i love her guys, don't get offended) a few months ago and i think now would be the perfect time. Maybe? I dunno.

I love his fucking blue eyes, they are just like so cute and his bowl haircut. Don't even get me started on that. I just want to kiss him so badly.

I started to think he likes me back when he got teary eyed a few nights ago about the whole he not wanting to lose m- OH MY GOD! Ok I'm blushing like a fool now. Great.

I call up Ian to see if he wanted to get lunch. He replies seconds later. "Okay, taco bell" i ask.

Cool.

We meet there about 20 minutes after the last text and we order. We chat for a while about smosh stuff (you know) and then the party gets brought up. "So are you going?" I ask. "Yeah probably, unless i get eaten by a dinosaur" we laugh. Wow i guess its hard to notice that he's actually upset when he makes jokes and you just like forget.. Wow.. I feel bad now, does he fake a smile? Is he dying on the inside? Now i want to read his journal even more. "Anthony?" "Huh, oh um sorry, kinda zoned out a bit there" "are you okay dude?" He asks. "Yeah im fine, just kinda still getting over last night" yeah not just kalel, but ian too. I dont like seeing him like this. Cutting himself.... Damn.

Tonight I will find out why he's like this.

Tonight.