"Wow", I tell him .
Sunflowers and I go far back , since I was a little child. They helped me , maybe you can even say it healed me . Growing up had been a stress for me and the ideal "high school life" never really came true but still I persevered through it . By the time Middle school ended , my father told us that he had been pondering over this decision since and he did not want to be part of our family anymore. Our expressions were beyond surprised and I was filled with rage . How does it take you 15 years to decide that you don't want to be with your family anymore . I guess that's when I can say I really changed..
Back then , I wasn't much of a "strong" boy .. I got beat a couple times , got laughed at a couple times but I learned. Some situations show people's true colours and sometimes your able to figure out things beyond your imaginations. Then you're just in this bubble of anxiety because you don't know how to figure everything out. I couldn't figure out why he could leave us .. were we so bad ? did we do something to him ?
Those days, Sometimes I reminisced while I laid in my bed and I started thinking that maybe me being gay was the reason.. Maybe he wasn't proud or other people conversations changed his way of thinking . I cried myself to sleep those days . I looked at myself in the mirror and told myself " I'm a disgrace" . I guess I always thought I would have the Ideal Life : Make my Parents Proud , Have a Mercedes , Have a Man , and Go to Harvard . Things looked so simple and I was just so ready for it , but I learned its situations like those that help you to become the successful person you need to be..
Ninth Grade Came , I guess you could say "New Life , New Me " . I walked in looking for new possibilities , I was looking for something new . Something to spark a new desire , something to take up my time . At the time , he was never in the picture so let's not make it complicated . I never needed a lover , I needed a friend . I guess you can say the previous events doesn't make me too happy of the idea of being in love.
Then I met him , not him HIM but a new friend . His name was ... wait , yeah his name was Jeremiah. The way we met wasn't as friendly as it should've been . I was backing out my car from school and his drunk ass met my bumper.
He snapped back into his normal state and ran to my car ,
" Yo , You Good ? " he hollered at me.
" Yeah , I'm just fine.. You look too old to be going to High School , Came back to complete to complete your education or whore around ? " I say back nicely.
" Okay , I see you got jokes but I don't see you topping your class ? You tryna repeat ? " He said coolly.
I was impressed , not about his "clapback" because obviously I would've taught him a lesson but I liked him. Not for his character but the way he was able to deal with anything I do. Our small "Hey" and "Hi"s turned into long conversations at the cafe . He could feel my pain and felt good to have somebody that is able to understand what you've been through. He was just someone I could confide in and he never judged me about anything I did. As soon as he smoked his last blunt , he was ready to give me all the advice I needed .
Then one day , We were laughing about one funny video about a family , then he asks me the question that makes my heart crack a little more..
" You know Tre , where is your dad ? "
The question takes me off my feet because I also want to know where he is too. I want to know who he is with now because he can't just abandon us to go nowhere. It would be a bizarre thing to do even for his standards.
