Sounded Silence

I wanna Help

FAIR WARNING: mass hysteria/stress-induced self harm.

Parappa's POV

I've known you forever.

I thought nothing would ever come between us.

Then...then this happened.

Why?

Why did this happen?

PJ, buddy...

What can I do?

I wanna help you.

Scissors are postioned at my throat. I'm sobbing quietly. I can't stop thinking about if and how I can help him.

What am I doing? I'm 25 years old. I can't wake up my parents like this.

I pull the scissors away, close them, and slam them into the cutting board. Hot tears are streaming down my face. I rush to find the glass tube in my duffel bag. I really need to ease my mind.

* * *

A change of scenery is always nice.

Being outside is nicer.

"Parappa, ole boy," I sigh to myself, "you're letting things get to your head again."

I flick the lighter.

Smells like dog.

...

A steak knife is in my hand.

"PJ! Buddy! I don't know what I'm doing!"

I'm barking hysterically. The steak knife is driven into my other arm.

"Just a little blood, what's that got to do with anything?!"

I've completely snapped. The drug was just making it worse.

"Woof! Woof! Feels like I've really grown up now, huh?!"

I turn and slam the knife into a tree.

"Whatcha gonna do, huh?"

The loss of blood makes me feel faint.

"I know! I gotta...I gotta..."

Thud.

* * *

"Big brother?"

Pinto's voice snapped me awake.

"Jesus Christ...what happened last night?" was all I could say.

"It's not morning yet." Pinto told me.

The clock read 3:45am.

"You're lucky I didn't get mom and dad. They really would've worried about you."

I look at my left arm. It was encased in more bandages.

"Y-you did this?" I whisper. Pinto nods.

Something then hits me.

"Su-Sunny!"

I sprang out of my bed and fling my duffel bag onto my shoulder.

"Bro! Where are you going?!" Pinto yells.

"Back to my girl, that's where!"