Gabe's alive

Finally some back story!

So this is going to be almost entirely flash backs. I will endeavour to say who and when do you don't get lost.

Sam flashback (Quick series of events up to and including the bond)POV

I knew it! I did. It was the trickster that had been doing the time loop. Dean was safe and packing the car.
Dean was dead. I'm hunting that ass down and making him sort it. I learnt everything I could about Loki. Everything. Until 6 months later he found me using bobby's voice and shape.
I stabbed Loki and it didn't work. But at least Dean is safe.

.....

That asshole has turned me into a car made me star in a herpes ad and stuck me in a game show. I'm gonna kill him!

I knew who it was. Once we'd realised he was an angel it clicked in my head like a switch being flipped. "Which one are you sleepy sneezy or douchey?"

"Gabriel okay? They call me Gabriel." I knew it. I almost crowed. But instead I confirmed that was indeed an archangel and then I allowed a small smile. He must have caught it because he seemed surprised.

.....

Gabriel kept popping in when Dean wasn't there. Making Me laugh, helping me with research and generally just making a nuisance of himself.
I was relatively smart. I knew what was happening. I knew I felt something for the archangel I also knew it had something to do with him being what he was. I don't think he realised what he was doing most of the time. I'd seen Castiel act the same way when within Dean's vicinity. And I knew they already had some form of bond there was no other way Castiel could have pulled Dean from hell.
What I didn't know was what I needed to do about it. I didn't think Gabriel would want demon blood drinking Winchester scum as a mate.
I had actually stopped since meeting Gabriel. He probably saved my life.

.......

Gabriel confessed, I asked him if I was and he confessed it was the reason for everything he'd done. I'm an Angels mate! Dean doesn't know but I'm so happy that Gabriel wanted me! I haven't felt this way since Jess died.
We made love and sealed the bond before we told Dean and Cas.
Dean wasn't too happy about it but he couldn't do anything about it now. The bond was settled. Besides now I could sit there with Gabe and tease Dean about Cas.

........

I actually thought this happiness would last. We'd been doing well Dean and Cas had bonded and between us we'd ganked many monsters. And somehow I'd still managed to let Lucifer free. I didn't mean to. I didn't know killing Lilith and letting her blood spill would be the last seal. None of us did, not even Gabe!
I hate myself for letting this happen but Gabriel says that it's okay maybe his brother would listen to reason this time.

I hope he's right because I have a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I lay here on my current motel bed thinking of how I could fix this if it went south quickly. Gabriel, Dean and Cas were our sorting food and interviews, however I hadn't been sleeping well and had been ordered by Gabe and Dean to stay put and try to sleep. It wasn't happening.
Either way I knew I would hold on to and love Gabriel with all I had until something happened. If and when it happened because I'm not stupid. This was Lucifer we're talking about.

......

Lucifer was here at the hotel. Gabriel stood in front of me, Dean and Kali protecting us as we  moved to the door. I kept quiet I didn't want to draw anymore attention to me from Lucifer. Or the fact I was bonded to his little brother.
We reached the car and waited for Gabriel. I felt a sudden and sharp pain in my chest and knew something was wrong. I cried out and started running in. I didn't even know what I was doing until I was stood over his body.
I don't know what's happening. I keep praying that it's a clone, that he'll just walk through the  doors.

I was wrong, so wrong. He didn't walk back through. He was really dead. I couldn't think or feel. How am I supposed to deal with this.
Dean said something I didn't catch and led me from the building.
I knew this would happen, the people I love always end up hurt or dead. Maybe I should not be here.

.......

After that my minds pretty much a blur of pain and anguish. I don't think I've eaten. I know I haven't slept and I pretty much just sit here.

I don't think I've seen Dean and Cas very often. They're leaving me to work through my emotions but it's only making it worse. I know it is but I can't stop.

.....

Today was the first time I cut. It felt so good. I feel so much better. I still haven't eaten much but I think Deans twigged that so this can be my new outlet.

.....

It's been 6 months since Gabriel died and I've got so many cut scars now. Dean found out yesterday but I don't care. It's not like it matters now anyways. I'm going to have to say yes to Lucifer. At least there I'll be tortured for my crimes.

.....

Dean's saved me from myself twice now but it's okay soon I'll be saying yes to Lucifer and taking him to the pit with me. It's okay now, it's almost over.

Chuck stumbled backwards the sheer weight of the emotions in Sam's memory was hard to deal with. He had to take a break but at least he got see Gabriel alive and happy. He wasn't done yet. He still had what happened after that and recently before he even thought about moving on to Dean and Castiel.
Honestly he had been surprised to see Lucifer there but he wanted to see his memories also.

End chap.