Gabe's alive

Soulless Sam

I know I'm updating fast. But if I don't I'm likely to forget this story and it's been plaguing my brain since I watched s13.

Part 4.

Dean sat hunched over a beer in the kitchen. His knuckles bloody from the all night punching session and sheer look of defeat on his face. Cas walked up to him and slipped his own mate into a hug. In all this despite Sam's Gabriel problem Cas was so happy to have his brother back. Even if right now he wanted nothing more then it to have not happened. Sam had only just settled back into a normal life, he'd even tried dating Amelia a way back which had been a positive sign.

And now, now Cas didn't know what to do. Well he did but Dean wasn't going to like it, however it would give Gabriel more time to recover his memories. He hoped.

"We have a few options but I think our best recourse right now would be to remove Sam's soul." Dean jolted up a look of horror on his face, he'd opened his mouth in clear denial when his brain clearly finished weighing the pros and cons. His face set in a grim line before slowly nodding.

" we need to run it by him first. I'm serious Cas if he says no we aren't doing it." Cas nodded, of course Cas would never have suggested other wise but even so this was for now the only way to keep Sam alive until they could figure out a way to get Gabriel's memories out of what ever vault he'd locked them behind. Cas knew what had happened, Gabriel had locked any happy memory away not trusting them after too long being tortured.  Cas was sure there was a name for the psychosis but he couldnt recall it.

They walked hand in hand to Sam's room where he was peacefully slumbering away. Cas leant over placing two fingers against Sam's forehead and with a jolt Sam woke screaming. "Sammy you gotta listen to me, please little brother. We want to remove your soul it should help with the bond."

Sammy violently nodded. " take it please I can't..."

And with that Castiel removed what should have been a bright glowing mass from Sam's chest. It wasn't anymore, tarnished by the broken bond it's light had dulled to a grey. At this Cas knew they'd done the right thing. Pulling out a vial he carefully poured it in, corked it and handed it to Dean. It would be better for him to keep it, last time Sam was soulless he never wanted his soul returned and given the chance this time would likely destroy it before taking it back.

Sam sat up straight, all etches of pain removed from his face and a calm peaceful expression had replaced it. "I know I should feel gratitude right now but I guess we're back to not being able to feel."

Dean nodded and checked his deep sigh. He didn't mind being on Sammy watch and this was a damn sight easier then Suicidal Sammy watch but he just wanted his brother back. He decided it was time that he got Gabriel sorted. He put his hand on Sam's shoulder told him to sleep and wandered out into the main bunker.

He found Gabriel alone in the library frowning at a photo he'd found on one of the shelves. Dean had forgotten about it, it was one of the very few photos from back then. Just after the bond between Sam and Gabe had been formed and they'd been so incredibly happy. Sam had Gabriel tucked into his side, they were sat in a booth at a diner somewhere in rural America and Sam had never looked so free, " I don't remember this. I know I know you boys from before Asmodick but this..."

"You tortured us with tricks. Time loop killings of me to get Sam to except it. You turned Sam into a car. And all because you knew he was you're mate and you needed him to be stronger then he was." Dean muttered as he took a seat near Gabriel. " it didn't take our little Sammy long to notice your interest in him and like our Sam he researched the hell outta it. Finally he confronted you telling you what you already knew and then surprised you with a kiss."

Dean ached telling this story, he shouldn't have had to. "You were inseparable until you came and saved us from the pagan gods and Lucifer."

He didn't say any more then that because he knew Gabriel knew what happened next. But what he didn't know was how Sam had reacted.  "Gabriel, you need to understand that when u didn't come back Sam went back in he found your clone on the floor. He thought you were dead. It took me longer then I wished to figure it out but he almost followed."

Gabriel nodded getting the meaning, Sam had turned suicidal. He hung his head being told this didn't help. He had a deep seated guilt that he couldn't explain. His memories told him what Dean was saying couldn't be true but the look on his face was saying his memories were lying to him, " you need to figure out how to unlock you're memories because I don't know how long Sam can live without his soul this time."

Gabriel cocked his head, as Dean fished out the vial with Sam's soul in it. He frowned, he remembered thinking how bright Sam's soul had been. But this was not that soul, this was a shadow of that soul and he vowed he'd returned it to full brightness, " he can't take that back until whatever is wrong with me is sorted, that soul is close to going black."

Dean could only guess that was bad and he nodded, he'd ask Cas later what Gabriel had meant. As it was he thought the angel had gotten the idea and left him to his thoughts.

He wandered for a bit, checking in on Sam when he passed his door before continuing on. He realised that Rowena had made herself scarce after Sam had disappeared and she'd realised what had been going on. He decided to explain, she deserved that much. He wandered to her room, knocked and entered.

She was sat book of spells in hand a troubled look on her face. " I am so sorry Dean, had I known."

Her Scottish tone deeper and more drawn out in her distress. He tried to smile and she eased recognising the effort it must have taken, " we took his soul, it was the only way. I know you never knew Rowena for once this actually isn't your fault."

She chuckled then frowned at him. For everything else she actually loved these boys. "I was actually trying to find a way to help Gabriel recover his memories."

She waved at the book and Dean grunted. " what we really need is a win I think it's time we went in after Mum and Jack, have you got the spell down?"

" we just need Archangel grace." Dean nodded and between them they formulated a plan to get Lucifer to help, they roped Gabriel in and off they went. It didn't take long and then They were through the rift.

Sam was stoic and tall as they walked through the dangerous landscape. He watched as Cas and Gabriel talked in from of them. He could hear what they were saying and he was suddenly very glad to not have a soul. " I've ticked some things of my bucket list, I got revenge, got to sleep with a 300 something year old red head witch. You ever wanted to do that Cas?"

Cas looked back at both Sam and Dean, Dean because he was Cas' bucket list and Sam in apology. He didn't reply and only smiled lightly at his brother.

As was always the case with team free will it was never long before shit would go sideways. They were attacked, they managed to save two kids from vampires.

When it semi calmed down they found out that the road they needed to take was under ground and a vampire nest/ feeding grounds. Oh joys.

Both Sam and Dean straightened up, put their scary hunter faces on and went in first. Gabriel and Cas has their blades out at the rear and the two kids were in the middle.

They were ambushed! Sam and Dean got separated and then the worst thing happened. Sam felt teeth at his throat. He looked at both Dean and Gabriel a plea on his lips before the scream took over. " SAM!"

"No! Dean you can't." Gabriel's mouth fell. The sight must have unlocked something because everything flooded back and he screamed. The agony in it surprised Dean and Cas but not enough as they watched Sam get hauled away. Cas was holding Dean back from going after him and Gabriel had no strength to either. The agony of watching his mate die hit him hard. Followed by everything else but with the bond tainting the memories. He wailed. It was probably one of the most painful things Dean had ever heard. If he hadn't already heard worse out of Sam's mouth first.

They grabbed him and ran. They exited the other side and reached the camp. There Gabriel collapsed into tears as Mary Winchester asked where her other son was. Tears flowed from the groups eyes and she knew.

Cas took Gabriel and confirmed what he thought. Gabriel remembered. And as it seemed just a little too late.