Living After: Book Two

Chapter Four: Troy

  "Brother, it's time to wake up."
  "What if I don't want to wake up? It's better like this, less stressful."
   Why is he here? Am I dead? Troy's eyes fluttered, seeing bright lights and stars.
   His brother's tone changed, "Don't give me that- you were never one to give up Troy."
  "You weren't either- but you gave up. You never came back."
   Jake shook his head, "You cut off my arm. I bled out. And I did come back, you ended it."
  "I deserve to die." Troy stood up and looked around. Everything was white and vacant.
  "I thought you were passed this! You've been given redemption. Wake up. Nick needs you."
   He walked up to the figure in front of him, his brother, and he disappeared. Nick appeared in the distance with a book in his hands. Troy wanted to run to him but couldn't move. He was paralyzed. Suddenly, he actually wanted to wake up. He felt excited. He heard Nick's voice.
  "Meet me where the end begins, in echoes. Where your world is me, and my world is you."
   Wake up.

  "Troy, you're awake. Oh my god -" Nick's voice.
  "Shhh, Nick." A girl.. Elyza?
  Troy's head was throbbing but for the first time in a week he didn't feel dizzy or disorientated when he opened his eyes. He looked to Elyza, hovering above him with a flashlight, then over to Nick. It was hard to keep his eyes open, but he could see Nick's facial expression and knew he must be alive. This was real, he had made it. He felt like bricks were weighing on top of him.
  "How long have I been out?" His throat felt dry and strange when he spoke. He noticed how dark it was, it must be the middle of the night. He wanted to go back to sleep.
  Nick sighed at the sound of Troy's voice, "Just like half a day. You scared me Troy. You asked me  to stop getting hurt - I've held up my end of the deal. Think you can avoid any more trauma to this brain of yours? I'd like it to stay where it is." Nick's voice was wavering and Troy lifted his hand from the bed. Nick held it and smiled to Elyza bleakly.
  "You've had a lot of pain medication," Elyza said, "Please don't try and stand for at least four hours. I'm serious. Everything seems fine and I don't know- I don't know who is watching over the both of you but you should feel extremely grateful. I'll leave you be, but I'll be in my room if you need something. I'm leaving you a radio."
  Nick nodded but he didn't look away from Troy, "Thank you so much Elyza."
  Elyza left and shut the door to their room silently behind her. Nick had gotten Troy some water and come back to his side of the bed, handing it over with a shaking hand. He wasn't saying anything. Troy felt better after drinking it, he propped himself up with a pillow.
   He cocked his head to the side, trying to ignore the dull pain, "You just gonna stare at me?"
  "I can't believe you're awake, honestly. I thought you were going to die. Again. I was too... too harsh on you before. I'm sorry," Nick looked away, "I was being selfish."
  "You could never be selfish- don't say that," Troy tried to get Nick's attention with his hands and failed, "It's okay. You were scared, but I know something else was bothering you." It was true, Troy could sense it in Nick's mood all of this time. He could act like he was fine all he wanted but Troy knew. He could read people and Nick the most of all.
  Nick sighed and looked at Troy, his face fell sad as he gave into the emotions he had been holding onto since the fight. He looked ashamed of himself, "I almost  did something bad."
  "What do you mean?"
  "I almost took meds from Elyza's bag," Nick stood up and walked over to the chair, sitting back and covering his face, "I almost did but I didn't. I'm so stupid, stupid and weak-"
  "Woah, woah, stop," Troy said, "Come sit by me. I'm fine. Come sit with me." He smiled and patted the bed next to him, it had become far too familiar in the last week and a half. Nick didn't look at him, he looked angry and distraught. Troy was confused, "Please Nicky, come sit."
  Nick groaned and came to carefully sit next to Troy on the bed, sinking into the blankets as if he was exhausted. Troy wished he had enough strength to hold him, his expression was killing his mood. "You didn't do it though and that's what matters. You aren't weak. Why would you ever say that? Look at how far you've come Nick."
  "I wanted them so bad," Nick said, "I thought that if you died- I was going to-"
  "Hey, no. Don't even say that. You wouldn't have. You can live without me, you've done it before-" Troy stopped, suddenly upset that Nick could feel so low of himself.
  "And I was miserable, just like I was with Mikey in his camp. Alone. I felt so alone-"
  "What happened that night? You're holding something back and I don't understand why... Did they do something to you?" Troy asked, it took so much energy to talk but he didn't care. Nick looked at Troy with tears in his golden brown eyes and sighed again, covering his face. Troy felt angry at himself for not realizing this before, his own injury and problems had distracted him from even noticing something was off with Nick. Even if he hadn't been hurt physically, something was bothering him emotionally and Troy could see the signs on his face.
  "They... forced drugs on me. I think it was heroine. Whatever it was, it was dirty and.. And-" Nick scooted away from Troy, seeming nervous to say anything else out loud. 
  "Stop, you don't have to say anything other than that," Troy said. He pulled Nick over to him with his hands, not caring about any pain. Willing to do anything for him to feel better. The relief of finally touching him after what felt like so long overwhelmed him. Nick snuggled his head into Troy's shoulder. "You were so brave for going through that alone. You should have told me."
  "I didn't want to burden you while you were sick. I just wanted you to get better," Nick's voice was quiet as he tried to explain himself, "I'm so sorry." Troy ran his fingers through his hair.
  "Stop apologizing, not everything is your fault," he laughed and squeezed Nick's arm, "Please, just remember how important you are. To me... to all of us. You don't have to tell them but I'm glad you told me. I knew you where strong but now I know exactly  how strong my beautiful, caring, intelligent, badass-"
  Troy heard Nick laughing into his chest, "Stop, you're gonna make me throw up. God, if someone would have told me months ago that you were this soft, I never would have believed them." Nick rolled over and looked up to Troy, smiling at him again and causing butterflies to rise in Troy's tummy. 
  "Well, get used to it. You're the one reading poetry to me as I sleep.. And you call me soft?"
  Nick scoffed and his cheeks turned red, "I have no idea what you're talking about," he said sarcastically. The two of them spoke about the events of the last week until they fell asleep in each other's arms. Everything made sense again.