Living After: Book Two

The Final Chapter: Nick

  Nick forced his eyes open, bright white fog covered the surroundings, telling him subconsciously that he must be dreaming. He hadn't had one of these dreams in a long time, no, not since before the fight with Mikey and his evil men. He blinked his eyes and noticed the Clark family's old living room in Los Angeles. Nick ran his hand over the couch, he felt a wave of nostalgia as he took in every sense of comfort, as he felt how real this dream seemed.
  The sound of a chair moving startled him, in the dream state, things were very groggy and filmed. He looked to the chair, and in it sat his father. Wearing a robe, drinking his morning coffee just as he used to before he died. Before he killed himself, but Nick only assumed that.
  "Why are you here?" Nick asked, "I thought you said you wouldn't be able to show yourself to me again. I didn't want these dreams to return. Am I okay - is, is something happening to Troy?!"
  "Nicholas, calm yourself, everything is as it should be," his father's low monotone voice cooed.
  He wandered over to stand in front of the table. Pictures from his graduation adorned the wall. Alicia in a formal gown ready for Prom night with Matt. He averted his eyes away from the old ghosts. His father had newspapers spread out in front of him on the deep satin brown table. He never imagined seeing his dad here again in this way. Nick titled his head sideways, and asked, "Why don't you ever ask me about mom? Are you watching us all of the time or -"
  "We never have much time, son. You know that. Travis tells me plenty."
  Nick felt a wave of regret washing over him as his father said Travis' name, feeling like needles of random emotion in the dream state, "How are you here? I know this is real -"
  "It doesn't matter how or why, Nicholas. I came to assure you that things are as they should be."
   Nick felt tears in his eyes, "And it will stay this way? As it should be?"
  His father looked up from the papers and grinned, nodding his aged face, "They will. You must fight for it if the time comes. Promise me you'll fight for those you love, you'll never succumb to the negative moods flooding your brain. Promise me you'll do better than I did, Nicholas, you must do better. Alicia doesn't need my help, she never did. She just needed love and your mother couldn't give that to her. But you did, and now Elyza has too. Despite the wrong your mother and I struggled through, she turned out to be an incredible woman. A better leader than Madison."
  He chuckled, sending chills down Nick's spine. How did he know Elyza's name?
  Nick was confused, "Dad, you did everything you could -"
  His father's ghost stood up from the chair and waved a hand at Nick, cutting him off, "I like Troy. He's good, he compliments you. Chaotic good. You keep him safe, you do me proud." He wandered over to Nick and pushed muddy blonde hair out of his eyes, "I love you son." 
  Why would he consider Troy a 'good man' without even knowing him? Had he been watching over Nick this whole time? This dream was so odd, even after what happened with the set back.
  The tall man wrapped arms around his son, hugging him one last time in the image of a place Nick couldn't recognize anymore. He sunk into the warmth of the dream, of his father hugging him. There were so many lost memories, such regret in the relationship with his dad. He watched the dream fade. Nick knew they didn't have much time they never did.
  He squeezed him back, wanting to stay there for a moment more, but just as his father let go.....


  He woke up. Eyes flying open in the unnecessary panic lucid dreams brought you. His shirtless skin was sweating wet under the covers. Nick glanced to the window and saw stars, darkness. After Troy returned to camp yesterday afternoon, they had never left their room, spending all evening lost in one another. Talking about poetry. Troy pitching Nick his militia defense plans. But most of that time was spent not talking all. The conversations they had before falling asleep ran through his mind as he blinked the room into focus.
  It must be very early morning, Nick thought to himself.
  The bedside table to his right had bottles of water, he struggled to sit up in the sleepiness, and drank some down before sinking back to the bed. As he moved, Troy moved, like magnets under the quilt. Troy rolled over towards Nick and his eyes peaked open, his voice mumbling, "Hey, why are you awake? Thought we'd worn each other out for good." Troy reached an arm out to him and smiled softly, rubbing Nick's arm with hardly any pressure.
  "Just had a dream," Nick said, "The kind of dream that feels real." Goosebumps rose on his skin just thinking about it, even if the memory of the dream had already began to fade.
  "Do you wanna talk about it?" Troy mumbled back.
  Nick fluffed his pillow and sat up a bit, reaching over to grab his book, "You're sleeping."
  "I know that look, you won't be going back to sleep," Troy rolled over onto his stomach and pulled the covers up, "It's cold in here. Are you cold Nicky?" He sounded so sleepy, so cute.
  Needn't say more, Nick stood and closed their window. He lingered, glancing out at the guard post as he locked the sliding glass frame shut. All seemed well, the new people were helping the original group keep dead away, things were settling around camp, and winter would be arriving in just a few short months. Then: spring would come soon after, the exciting part.
  He lit a candle and pulled shorts over his boxers before sliding back into the bed with Troy. "Remember when I told you, you could sleep when you're dead? I was joking, you should sleep."
  "I remember that a little," Troy's features were aware now, gazing at Nick from where he laid his head on a cream colored pillow, "I recall tearing through dead in that red truck and being stuffed up in a helicopter with you for an hour or so," Troy laughed and his eyes glistened, "I was scared shitless."
  Nick raised an eyebrow at him, "Troy Otto, scared?"
  "Yeah, terrified, but you had it handled."
  Nick smiled, feeling bashful at the mention of his heroism. They had both saved each other too many times to count. It was effortless, some unsworn duty they had taken up for the other since the moment they met. He put his arm out around Troy and his sleepy, tall figure fit himself underneath. Nick traced a finger over Troy's large scar on the left side of his head, almost invisible now underneath curly hair.
  Troy sighed, "You gonna tell me about that dream or just let me wonder?"
  He hesitated before answering, "It was - it was my dad again."
  Nick felt Troy tense in his arms.
  "Like, in your dreams? Like... before when -"
  "Yeah, Troy, like then. When all of that fucked up shit was happening." Troy didn't answer, he held onto Nick's hand and let him finish, Troy was a good listener when he wanted to be. Nick tried to find the words to say, but, they wouldn't come out. Usually he spoke freely, uncaring what others thought. With Troy, it was no different, but at times he found himself caring what Troy thought of him. He felt himself fearing losing Troy in anyway. "How come you believed me? You didn't have to stick through all of that with me. The visions, passing out, hurting my leg - you've done so much for me, Troy. You believed me."
  Troy tilted his head up to meet Nick's eyes, a half smirk on his scruffy face, "You had every right not to believe in me, but you did anyways. Why wouldn't I believe you? As... as wild as that whole thing with your dad was, I believed it. What has you rethinking? What did he say -"
  "This place, Troy," Nick's hands shook, he steadied himself on the bed, sinking further into his love's embrace, "I will do any awful thing - I will do anything it takes to keep us all safe. I'll do whatever it takes to help Elyza and my mom figure things out. Weeks ago, after the fight, I thought a day might come that I would be forced to choose between you and my family."
  "Sorry, I don't understand what any of this has to do with what your dad said," Troy mumbled.
  "I can't be weak anymore. If I have to kill, I uh - we have to. I think that's what he meant. I immediately thought it had something to do with you," Nick sighed, "He said things are as the should be and that we have to fight to keep this place. These people, we're all in this together. A day may come when we have to harm in order to stay safe and I have to be okay with that."
  "You weren't ever weak, Nick," Troy stood up from the bed and his tall frame stretched arms to the ceiling. He turned and smiled at Nick laying over where his body had been, "You were stronger for not  wanting to. You don't want to live with the guilt I have from killing innocents. You don't. When are you ever going to have a little faith in yourself? Melancholy."
  Nick scoffed at the mention of his melancholy moods. He didn't bother responding because Nick knew Troy understood. He was so glad he had shared the dream, knowing he would've over thought it for days if he hadn't told anyone. He stood up and playfully pulled Troy back onto the bed, kissing him as the sunrise started to shine in through their window. Troy's hands found Nick's face like they always do, and he stopped kissing him for a moment. Nick felt woozy there, in the space between atoms, staring through Troy's eyes. His emotions overwhelmed him and he settled for something comedic. "Still too worn out?" Nick asked, his voice trembling a little. He traced Troy's jaw with a finger and pulled away from the grip of his hands.
  "Jesus Christ, yeah I am, and you aren't? I just wanted to look at you for a second," Troy kissed Nick's neck, "Thought you  were the one who taught me that love isn't just about sex."
  Electricity fizzed through him as he listened to Troy's voice.
  "Well, I did teach you that. It is only a plus to the initial mind-chemistry we shared," Nick giggled again and Troy blushed, unable to take him seriously at all. Despite Troy's attempts to waver his attention with more kisses, he continued talking. Nick put a hand over Troy's heart and felt it beating in his masculine chest, something he had grown fond of doing. There had been far too many times he'd envisioned never seeing or hearing Troy again. Feeling his heartbeat just reminded him that this was real, that the love they felt for one another was real. "There is no poem worthy enough to express how I feel about you, Troy Otto."
  Troy's eyes softened, he almost looked teary. He pulled Nick over on him in the bed, and his face lit up in happiness again. "Best friends make great lovers," Troy sighed and tugged at Nick's shorts, "Is that a poem?"
  A wide, dimple inducing smile formed on Nick's face, "No, but it'll do."


  Nick skipped down his spiraling stairs, out the door, and over to Alicia's house to bathe. He avoided eye contact with the survivors outside, his face still a bit flustered from being in bed with Troy. Despite their early morning, and general lack of sleep, he felt energetic and ready to take on the day.
  Being happy does that to you.
  It was nice seeing that the new comers were keeping their own space, giving everyone time to adjust. As he entered his sister's home, the living room smelled of fresh bread. Tasha had been baking things from scratch, preparing breakfast for the camp. They had a few weeks worth of flour left, and they may as well use it before diving into the canned goods.
  "Hey Nick," Tasha turned around and wiped her hands on a dingy old apron. She tilted her head sideways and long brown hair fell over her eyes. Blake sat on the couch, watching her in admiration. She smiled, "You need the bathroom? Alicia's just finishing up."
  Nick nodded and excused himself upstairs, wandering up the smaller staircase to find the bathroom. Generator had plenty of gas for warm water, Walker had brought a gallon or two with him, and Nick was so looking forward to a bath before he began the day.
  His sister stood in the hallway, pulling her hair back into a tight pony. She saw him and smiled, "Hey, what are you assigned to do today?" Alicia pulled her butterfly knife from her pocket and flipped it a few times, "Elyza and I are going on a run. We're taking Blake and Tasha to pick up that motorcycle she had her eyes on at the housing development. Grab some blankets and stuff while we're at it. You guys wanna come?"
  "Troy's getting the militia together today," Nick sighed, "Mom didn't really give me a job. I was going to go ask her what I needed to do after cleaning up. The militia is Troy's thing but I'm bound to be a part of it. We'll see." 
  His sister smirked, "Well, maybe you can hangout with Molly or something. She's been attached to Elyza's hip these last few days. Speaking of Elyza," Alicia glanced around her and came closer to her brother, "She asked me to marry  her. Unofficially official, I guess."
  Nick felt his chest warm with happiness looking at his sister's smug, joyous face. He wrapped her up into a hug, a tight one. "I love you baby sister, and that's amazing news. Most deserved."
  "I love you too," Alicia mumbled, "I'd love for you and Troy to come today."
  Nick pulled away from his sister and smiled, "I know. Thank you for ... accepting him. Us."
  Alicia laughed and waved at him as she headed towards the stairway, "Nick, I always knew."


  Nick rubbed a clean shirt over his head, drying his ruffled hair after his bath. Standing on the porch was quite a sight, Walker and Strand were conversing by the fire pit, laughing like new friends. In only a few days, with everyone working together, the fence had been built up multiple feet. Nick watched Troy in the distance, pacing a small tent set for the militia and guard defenses.
  He heard the screen door to his home open and out came his mother, smiling and holding the new woman's baby. "I'm watching this little guy while his mama is on guard, yes I am. Yes I am," Madison cooed in a childish voice. Nick grinned, seeing his mother so happy and freed from the weight of leading was a sight.
  "He's a cute little guy, very lucky. Very chubby," Nick said. He stuck his tongue out at the little human and grinned as the baby chucked at him, "How's things going?"
  Madison stood by her son's side, bouncing the baby, "Its going surprisingly well."
  "Travis would have loved it here," he said, trying to make her smile, and it worked.
  "He would be proud of you. Your dad would be too, Nick, I hope you know."
  Nick laughed under his breath, little did she know; he did.
  "So what're we to do?"
  Madison flipped blonde curls back out of her face, "I don't know, expand this place. Live. Maybe eventually go out and find some more people if Walker is okay with it. Your sister left a few minutes ago to go on a run with B and Tasha. I'm kind of panicking."
  "Elyza is with her, you shouldn't. We can all take care of each other."
  "Oh, I know. I see you and Troy taking care of one another in ways I never could. I'm a mother, let me have my worries. Seems I need to let you guys go just a little more. You're all grown up."
  "We've been grown up," Nick said, he put an arm around his mom and squeezed her, "I'm gonna help Troy with the guard planning. Keep him focused."
  "You do that," Madison smiled, genuinely, and nodded to him as he walked into the field. The field that was once barren was turning into a small camp, and it reminded him so much of the Ranch. Nick nodded to Walker as he past the fire pit where others mingled. He made a mental note to sit down and catch up with Lee later after his guard shifts.
  Troy saw Nick coming towards him from the tent and instantly smiled, loosening his shoulders. The tent was built with deep blue tarps, and inside were two tables. One table held a coffee machine and cups. The other held bullets, weapons, and knives. The works. Nick felt such strong Deja-vu glancing around.
  Nick sped up and hugged Troy as he approached the tent, smelling his clean long sleeved tee as they embraced. "I came to check on you. Look at all of this stuff," Nick said, "I remember the last time we stood in a situation like this. You told me I needed a note from my mother." Nick's voice was teasing and smooth, it made Troy giggle in his embrace.
  "I remember that. I remember wanting to hug you like this too - too bad I waited so long."
  "Oh, stop, we have plenty of time now," Nick looked up at Troy's face, something was wrong.
  "You think I can do this? Nick, what if I lose myself to the fight again - what if I go -"
  "Does it bother you? My mom won't make you lead the defense unless you want to. Troy, I thought you said a job would be good for you." Nick walked into the tent and ran his hands over the rows of guns, "Everyone inside of camp is armed now, we don't necessarily need  you to do anything if you don't want to... She just trusts you with this."
  "Why the fuck would she trust me with this? Why would anyone trust me with leading a group of armed men ever again -" Troy's voice rose a moment and he took a deep breathe, visibly calming himself down, "I want to help. I know how to grow plants -"
  Nick walked back over to Troy and pulled on his belt loop, drawing him in, "And we will grow plants. Come spring, that's our plan. I know this is weird for you, it looks like the fucking Ranch around here. But you should know, that you've earned  her trust. Troy, you deserve  this."
  Troy kissed Nick, subtly, and then left a kiss on the top of his head, too. "Well if I start feeling out of sorts you'll be the first to know. I think you've tamed all of the demons in my brain."
  "Don't let them out," Nick said, "We can do this together, just as we always have."
   Troy put his arms around Nick's small frame and hugged him some more, "Just as we always will."


   Happy endings are something Nick never imagined himself having. As an addict, he never saw the light at the end of that deep tunnel. After the apocalypse, the deep tunnel got even longer and his mind convinced him even further that he would never truly be happy. The second chance he was given with Troy was not taken lightly, he fought for it, he didn't stop fighting for it. Their new home would face dangers, and the survivors would triumph over the danger as they always did. Nick felt solace in the fact that even if the future brought uncertainty, he would never have to face it alone again. Troy had brought meaning back into his life, he had brought such comfort and joy that Nick envisioned himself never needing a thing again.
  All that he needed was right in front of him.




  The End