Living After: Book Two

Chapter Fourteen: Alicia

- three days later

  Alicia was awake before everyone, and she had been for the last few days. She knew her mother was to return home today, and the anticipation had kept her up all of the night and into the morning. After warming water for instant coffee, she stuck her light grey baseball cap on and went into the yard. Fog had crept into the low hills of the valley area their settlement sat in, the trees looked puny in the distance with white mist in front of their trunks. The boys had worked together to improve the fence immensely in a few short days. Madison would be proud of the work they had done.
  She found herself at the guard post alone, peaking to the horizon with binoculars. The warm coffee mug in her hands was a comforting feeling. Alicia watched an infected woman walk straight through the fog straight into a tree, she giggled to herself. The quiet was something Alicia cherished even before the turn. Plugging her headphones in and walking alone to meet Matt had been one of her favorite past times, the easiest way to cool down after school. That bullshit seemed so far behind them now. She fished her IPod out from a pocket and ran her thumb over the backside where Elyza had scratched, E & A, on the dingy case. Alicia glanced at her tattoo and wondered how long it had taken Matt to turn that day, if his parents ever came back for him. There were too many ghosts in this world, and they lingered through time. It didn't matter what happened in-between, you always remembered the beginning of it all.
  A new beginning with Elyza and promises of a normal future fueled her, it made her feel alive. 
  Alicia sat with her feet kicked up on the gates for awhile, watching and waiting. She figured that sooner or later, Elyza would wake up and come to join her. She had been up with Victor late last night, he was having nerve pain in his arm. It worried Elyza, she wanted everything to be perfect for him. Pain killers were out of the option, she didn't want anyone getting dependent on them this close to the winter. Victor needed physical therapy and time to heal. 
  She stirred in her seat as she heard a screen door and gravel from behind, Alicia glanced back to see Nick and Elyza coming her way. Their friendship was a pleasurable sight for Alicia, she loved that they got along more than anything. It meant the world to her, and to Elyza too.
  "Hey," Nick smiled and greeted his sister, "Want us to sit with you?"
  "I brought you breakfast," Elyza offered her oats and canned peaches, "You should eat it -"
  "She'll be showing soon," Alicia took the food and scraped it into her mouth hurriedly, "We should all be out here waiting. If Walker is setting us up we should be armed, too."
  Nick turned his head at her, "You're still worried about all that?"
  "We don't know that he didn't force her to write that note. The timing is weird," Alicia blurted it out before wondering if it sounded too paranoid. I sound like my mother, she thought. She didn't want to be like her. Nick watched the horizon silently, and Alicia figured he agreed.
  Elyza put a hand on Alicia's shoulder, "What has you spooked, gorgeous? I think it all adds up."
  "That's exactly what has me spooked, when has anything ever worked as it should for us?"
  Elyza placed a warm, small hand on Alicia's face. The embrace of her soft skin brought Alicia to focus entirely. Elyza spoke in soothing tones, ignoring Nick behind her, "Babe - it isn't a trap. I have a good feeling about this, and I never feel good about anything that has to do with strangers. I'm usually almost always right in every situation -"
  Nick laughed, "She has a point."
  Elyza turned and stuck her tongue at him before continuing, "We'll arm up the group. It is the safe option, you're right. That's why your mother would have wanted you in charge, Alicia."
  "Hey - I am also capable, its just that no ones ever given me the chance."
  "Nick," Alicia rolled her eyes at him, "You're feeling antsy this morning - Don't worry, you and Troy are in charge of your own little world while we handle the serious business."
  He blushed and turned towards the horizon, "I'll get everyone out here."

  Alicia stood side by side with Elyza, watching the dirt road ahead of them. Their shoulders touched every so often, sending electricity through her, "What's taking them so long?"
  "It's Nick rounding them up, give him a few extra minutes," Elyza teased.
  Alicia turned and leaned bacwards on the gate to look at her beautiful girlfriend, "You think this is where we'll always be, here at this settlement. Like until my mom is an old grandma."
  "Not unless you wanna run away together," Elyza sighed, pulling Alicia's hips towards her, "Yeah. I think this is it, Licia. I hope  we don't have to run. I'm so goddamn tired of running -"
  "And we've gotten used to this place."
  "Very used to it," Elyza's hands trailed up Alicia's back, "Though I'll never get used to you."
  Alicia blushed behind her deep brown hair, looking into Elyza's blue eyes felt like being lost in oceans. She was right before when she pondered if this feeling would ever go away, it wouldn't.
  They shared a kiss in the sunlight, right there in the middle of everything. A long, drawing kiss that took the breath from their chests. Alicia wasn't sure what to say to her at times. The overwhelming feeling of her presence, Elyza's body against hers, was enough to steal words from anyone's mouth. "I love you," Alicia whispered, "You've shown me so much."
  Elyza rested her forehead on Alicia's, "I love you more. Oh, Alicia Clark. You've taught me -"
  Commotion came from behind them, and Elyza stopped abruptly from finishing their moment. The rest of the group was coming to join the girls at the gates, all armed to the teeth. Even Victor held a dainty pistol in his hand as he swayed side to side.
  Alicia pulled away, time to get serious, but she held her arm around Lyza's waist firmly, "I want you all to line up on the side of the fence, out of sightlines from the road. If things go wary, and we should be prepared for that, just shoot. Don't let them in the gates, we have to shoot first if possible... be as ready as possible." Sounding paranoid kept them alive, she took a deep breathe and prepared for negative, naïve response.
  "I thought that we agreed it wasn't a trap," Tasha said. Alicia watched her slip her hand into Blake's arm, looking fearful as she stood with her sword at her waist, "We trust Madison -"
  "This is just a precaution," Alicia continued, "If they took Madison by force, we'll know quickly. If my mother isn't up front leading the small group of survivors with Walker, it means something is off. She would demand her leadership to be a big part of this deal, I know that."
  Victor nodded his head silently, agreeing.
  Troy looked to Tasha, thinking on what she said, "And if this is a trap - if they fire on us -"
  "We kill them," Alicia looked to Elyza, who was watching her in admiration, "This is our home."
  They stood behind the safety of their fences, basking in the comfort of knowing they'd all fight and die for one another. Would this be the last peaceful moment for them, or the first peaceful moment of a new beginning? Alicia felt tears well in her eyes as the group looked to her for support. Nick looked at her the way her father used to - with a proud, satisfied demeanor. The woman she had become now, was someone unrecognizable from who she had been then.


  "You know," Elyza fiddled with art supplies on the floor of their room, "Leadership equals loneliness. Your mother, she carries that burden alone and has since the death of your -"
  "You didn't know her before she had to carry that burden. Elyza, she tormented us."
  "Every mother does at some point in life, you really shouldn't be dramatic about it."
   Alicia sighed, a bit taken back by that statement, "I wasn't being dramatic. You hardly know."
  "Then tell me," Elyza pushed the odd items that had her attention away, and stuck her arms under her chin. She smiled a soft, apologetic smirk, "I mean like, give me an example."
  "She has always taken care of us, made sure we were fed. Clothed. Warm."
  "Mhhmm."
  "But, she was never there - emotionally. Like, like... this one time," Alicia sat crisscrossed on the floor in front of the perky blonde, "I came home from school, bawling. Maybe I was ten, eleven. These girls had told some other kids that I kissed a boy name Johnathan in the bathroom... For the record, I didn't."
  "Oh petty, school drama."
 "Right, but they took it too far," Alicia looked up, "Mean girls say mean things. I was crying, distraught. You know, as a kid, I thought my life was ruined. Like I was some queen and my virginity wasn't intact. I thought it was the end of the world. My mother never prepared me for the vicious words of other children. I came home, like I said, I was crying and she ripped into me. She said I was naïve and selfish for being upset about something so flattering. That it wouldn't be a problem in a few years when I was older. We weren't allowed to cry, throw fits. It all had to be perfect for her. All of it was an image, that she needed to keep her family together, perfecly."
  "Ahhh, ahhh," Elyza sighed, "I understand. I'm sorry -"
  Alicia didn't say anything, she only wondered if she wanted to hear more.
  "I wish that moms could all be perfect for their children. I wish that we could all take back the mistakes and regret and abuse," Elyza said slowly, "I can't begin to imagine growing up with such cold, inattentive support. But look at you - you're sensational. I know you and your brother both had to grow up fast by the hands of your mother, but its time to move passed that. She knows her faults and so do you, now you can work on fixing the broken cycle. You're an adult and you can talk to her."
  "We were just so trapped for so many years, you know? There's no wonder Nick wanted an easy escape. I don't blame her necessarily, I don't. Its a factor of many, many things... I need to work on not wishing things differently and just accepting them as they are. I feel grateful and blessed to have my mother here with me, I just struggle with the thought of how things could have been better before the turn. I.. I would have loved to have met Ada, your mother."
  "She would have loved you, sweetheart," Elyza said, listening intently to every word Alicia spoke, as if it were some important declaration. "She believed in every soul on this Earth."


  "There's dust on the road behind the hill, look," Nick whispered, "I see it. They're coming."
  "How do you know," Alicia said, "We haven't been out here that  long." He shrugged and smiled to her, it has to be them. Elyza whistled to signal the others. Nick had stayed behind with his sister at the gates, hoping to help them from the front if anything went wrong.
  Alicia felt her heart racing as she peered out with binoculars, sure enough, there were two trucks coming over the hill, one pulling a trailer. She focused in and noticed one of them was not a truck, but some sort of large suburban. Elyza watched her expression change, and then looked into the road at the incoming vehicles. This was it.
  It was a decent stretch, but the way they were hauling ass made Alicia feel more paranoid. "Is mom in the tanker with him?" Nick asked, he held his revolver up, "Can you see?"
  "They aren't close enough yet," Alicia sighed, "I can see Qaletaqa in the drivers seat -" The glare from the sun changed sides and her view cleared. Someone stirred in the passengers seat, and she was blonde. "She's in the front seat by him," Alicia laughed, "I can see them - she's smiling."
  "Can I have my binoculars, Alicia, please," Nick asked, anxious to see for himself.
  "You can watch through my scope," Elyza said to her, "See? Nothing to worry about."
  Alicia's face flustered, "How will these people stay in tents?"
  "Why are you already caring for them? Oh Alicia, my leader," Elyza cooed, "We'll build cabins."
  Nick scoffed, "We don't even know if we like these people."
  "You sound like Troy," Alicia said, "Mom wouldn't have brought them -"
  "I know, I know," he huffed, "I'm just worried. Look - here they come."
  Elyza signaled again that the coast was clear and the group on the outskirts of the fence could reveal themselves. From what Alicia could see, no one visible was holding a weapon in their hands. She opened the gates and scanned the dusty road for infected, nothing. The trucks rolled to a stop in front of them as the group stood in awe of the large tanker. Alicia wondered if it was full of water. She stood next to Nick and waited for her mother to hop out of that truck, finally, after days of being separated she would know that she was safe. Victor, Blake, the whole family awaited to greet their leader and eight strange new faces.
  Doors opened and Madison ran around the side of the truck and into her children, almost pushing Alicia backwards into the gravel. Her face was flushed with tears of joy. She stood back and looked at them, smiling, "I was so sure you'd be gone."
  "You have that little of faith in us," Alicia started, but Madison cut her off with a hug.
  "I have all of the faith in this world of you, both of you. I want you to meet these people, they're good. They're like us," she turned to face Elyza, "Thank you for helping hold down the fort while I was gone, I appreciate you more than you're aware of."
  "Of course, Miss Clark," Elyza smirked and looked to Alicia from the corner of her eye.
  "First I had to break Troy of calling me ma'am, now I'll have to break you of that - it's Madison," she leaned in and hugged Elyza. Alicia wasn't expecting that. Her mother moved onto Victor, greeting him and filling him in on details. Alicia focused her attention to Qaletaqa Walker, who had wandered back to tell his people in the long suburban vehicle to wait.
  He moseyed up to the group and nodded his head to Alicia. She looked at him, he seemed the same. Long dark hair, smug face. Alicia noted that the group seemed intimidated by his presence, everyone except Elyza that is. Nick held onto Troy's hand in the line of introductions. Taqa finally spoke, "Hello Troy Otto, what a day this is, meeting you again in this life was something I never imagined."
  "I never thought I'd see you - you again either," Troy said, he stuttered awkwardly. He put a hand out, wearing a scowl to protect his self. Taqa shook his hand firmly. A good sign.
  "There is no bad blood here, only redemption," Taqa said, "A new beginning. It's nice to finally see all of you. I was beginning to think Madison was pulling my leg about this place."
  "Well she wasn't, was she?" Nick said, he scooted in towards Troy and shook Taqa's hand, "We're glad to have you, we all need to help each other now more than ever. Winter -"
  "It will be harsh. This beauty is full of water," he smacked the truck with a thud, "I have a trained hunter with me and Madison tells stories of Blake's skill. We have dried meat to last while we accumulate more. I believe you inviting us into your home, that's the spirit we should all live by now," Taqa replied, his tone seemed positive and full of hope, he then added, "Uh, after everything that happened before." He was referring to Jeremiah, Alicia thought.
  She watched as Elyza introduced herself and the others to the outsider. Her mother wandered to the half - built wall and complimented the work they had done. This was all so new, it felt wrong having others here. Alicia already felt herself wondering about who they were.
  "Open the gates up all of the way," Madison said to Blake, "We can all meet inside."


  The vehicles were pulled into the settlement and Madison began playing host. Everyone surrendered weapons to her, even Taqa. Alicia had a thousand questions for her mother, but it would have to wait until later. The new arrivals had been instructed to set up camp on the opposite sides of the houses. Alicia counted heads as they came out of the suburban truck, three women, four men, and two children. Children. Eight had turned to nine.
  Alicia felt Lyza's hand from behind, wrapping around her hip, "Is that a baby -"
  "That's a baby," Alicia sighed, "How are we going to feed these people?"
  Elyza stepped in front of her, "We'll manage. There's food stocked back long enough for what could be years. Look, Tasha and Blake are already talking to them."
  "I wonder what they've done."
  "Alicia."
  "We've all done things - we trust each other here. They have to gain that -"
  "You know one of the men?"
  Alicia looked into her ocean blue eyes, pushing worry away, "Yeah, Crazy Dog or, uh his name is Lee. He knew my friend Ofelia... He knew her really well actually."
  "See? You already have something to talk about with him then. I'm walking over to see if they need any medical attention. I want to get my hands on that baby," she smirked, "You coming?"
  "I'm going to find my mom first, I'll catch up with you," Alicia said, she walked off. Nick and Troy were somewhere hiding already and she wanted to be too.
  This is a good thing, we need this, they're human, she thought to herself.


  Madison was sitting in her bedroom on the floor when Alicia found her, there were lists scattered on the carpet in piles and words written that she couldn't make out from a distance. Alicia glanced to her and Madison smiled sheepishly as she entered the room. She sat up straight and looked Alicia over, "Hey, how's my girl?"
  "I'm good, how's my mom? How was that trip?"
  "Unexpected. Long. Unnerving. If you wanted it described as best as I could - those three words would sum it up," Madison said. She patted the floor by her for Alicia to sit, and she did. Alicia leaned her head over onto her mother's shoulder and closed her eyes for a moment before she spoke again. Madison's voice was strained, "I want to apologize for running out on you both like that. I didn't want to risk either of you coming along with me."
  "You risked Tasha," Alicia said, she scooted away, giving herself distance.
  "I did, and I'd do that again. I had to. This will give us a strong, sustaining community, Alicia."
  "We did come after you, you know - it was a shit show."
  Madison put an arm around her daughter, "Jesus Christ, I'm sorry. I'm such an idiot -"
  "What are these papers?" Alicia cut her off with a subject change, she didn't want her pity.
  "Interviews, and my notes of them."
  Alicia turned her face to look at her mother, "Of them?  These are about the people outside?"
  She nodded slowly, "Even Lee answered my questions," Madison sounded proud of herself, "I told you on the note that I had a plan. I had it covered, it was fucking reckless, but I had it covered. I knew what I was getting into and I did it for you, for Nick and Troy. For Elyza."
  Alicia felt her heart warm, Madison had been adamant about her thoughts on Elyza at first. Believing she would leave, or run off on her daughter. Madison wasn't sure of her at first, of course she had every right not to be. That had clearly changed now as she expressed her gratitude towards her consistently and was now even protecting Elyza with promise of future.
  "I know why you did it," Alicia said, "I was just scared you wouldn't come back."
  "Things will be okay now - we'll have rules. A council, family life and work. Rebuild."
  "Rebuild," Alicia whispered after her mother, she touched some of the papers on the floor as her mother excused herself to join Taqa. Alicia glanced down at the list of names, she would read the stories written about them later. No wonder it had taken Madison days to return with them, if she had collected all of this data before bringing the survivors to their home.

  - Julie Davis, mother. Former EMT and first responder. Infant child, widowed post apocalypse.
  - Alanna Bogdanow, tourist. Stranded after flights canceled during the turn. Coincidently alive.
  - Susan Wild, geometry teacher and army veteran. Lost children pre apoc.
  - Hank Wild, army veteran and mechanic. Knows Lee from before.
  - Lee 'Crazy Dog' Johns, family deceased. Taqa's second and former trusting ally to the Ranch.
  - Qaletaqa Walker, leader. Trusted ally. Former convenience store owner, multiskilled, survivor.
  - Daniel Farris, border patrol PD. Talks a lot. Skilled hunter and tracker.
 
  Alicia squinted her eyes to make out the last line on the list of random names,

  - Molly, orphan. Twelve years.

  She ran her hands over her mothers messy handwriting. Something deep inside of her, screamed that this was okay. Everything would be fine and they would create a community here. The walls that built around your hope, when you lived in survival so long, were hard to knock down. Reading this little list gave her the strength to want something more than survival.
  She wanted a future.