A Pinch Of Salt And Lemon

HaHa Fuck

I'm sure the majority of us have seen memes about wanting to die and shit right. I know most people laugh react and just casually scroll past them. I personally do myself. Sometimes I cant help to think like, what is that person thinking when they post that. I try to reflect on what I would possibly be thinking when I post them and personally I dont think. It's so casual and normalized. The reality of how bad things are doesnt really faze me until later. When everything feels like to much and I just break down from the pressure of my own instability. Call me overdramatic but uh...when I do break down I literally feel like a shell, a corpse of someone who was here but has slowly faded away with time. I'm blanketed by the emptiness within me, blinding me from the passing time. Every once in a while the covers are lifted and the shock of reality hits me. I feel like I'm seeing my own life for the first time. The truth bashes me and breaks me like a skull hitting cement. It eventually bleeds into guilt, guilt for not getting my shit together. Guilt for not being a proper adult, but the guilt just shoves me under thicker blankets. Time becomes invisible once more, and the vicious cycle continues. Unfortunately I've obtained an enabler their words echo in my head, they leach off my mind. Sucking the motivation away, "It could be worse."...time and time again I've realized that we've reached the peak of worse.