Chapter 18

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Maya stood in the doorway and scanned the room for a while before she took a place on the sofa, while Armaan sat down on the bed.

"How's work going?"

"Good." A part of him wanted to tell her about Karachi, but he didn't.

"I'm happy to hear about your engagement. Seeing you move ahead in life is good. I met Samara the other day. Zeba always sang her praises and kept telling me I'll like her. Turns out she wasn't wrong. She seems like a nice girl."

"She is."

Maya paused briefly, as if to muster up the courage to go on with what she was about to say.

"Throughout my life, I've always regretted not being around you enough. I never held your hands and dropped you to school. Never sat down to ask you how your day was. The time I should've spent with you, I spent it working. You came here with your grandma, grew up, graduated, built your career and now you're getting married. All without me. It's a grief I will live with forever."

The remorseful and apologetic tone to her voice was something very new to Armaan.

"Your father and I, we may not have been in good terms. The woes of living in a problematic marriage got the better of us. If there's one thing that we both can agree upon, it's the fact that we never wanted our problems to affect you negatively. But I guess we failed in that too. You were the only good thing that happened to us over the course of our short-lived marriage. You were a blessing, which we couldn't cherish enough." She looked at her son, reminiscing the warmth and softness of his hands, which she held when he took his first steps. The delight of hearing him say 'mum' for the first time. It was all coming back in bits and pieces.

"Both of us have moved on in life. But there will always be a regret that our bitter relationship has turned you bitter too. Believe me, we never wanted that to happen. I-"

"Why are you apologizing? After all these years, why now?" Armaan looked at his mother with eyes brimming with tears.

"Because I want you to start this new phase of your life afresh, without any harsh feelings or bitterness that has been left behind from our broken marriage. No matter how much you try to deny it, I know you have suffered all these years. I am your mom after all, and I know my son. Probably I have my own selfish reasons to come here today as well, I wanted to reduce my guilt. But more than that, I wanted to see my son happy." She couldn't speak much further. Her overwhelming emotions stopped her.

Armaan heaved a heavy sigh.

"All my life, I have resented the idea of marriage. I detached myself from you both because I blamed you for ruining my childhood. But as I grew up, I realized I wasn't completely right. Marriage is a choice. What happens after that isn't. It's fate. I began to understand it wasn't easy for either of you as well. I'd be lying to myself if I say it doesn't bother me anymore. It does, but maybe a lot less than it ever did. And that's because of Samara. She brought in a new perspective in my life. I started to believe in love again and surprisingly, even marriage. When things don't work out it's not always our fault. Maybe you and dad could've handled the situation better. Maybe you could've taken a decision earlier to avoid the mishaps. There'll always be many 'what ifs' and 'maybes' in life, but it shouldn't hold you back from moving ahead in life. Even I have moved on mum. You don't need to apologize. I have forgiven you a long time ago, because I didn't want to be stuck in my past forever."

He placed a hand on her knee as a gesture of reassurance.

"You have grown up. You have grown up to be a good man, and it makes me so, so proud. Just remember that no matter wherever I am, in whatever part of the world, I will always be with you. You are my son. My flesh and blood, and nothing in this world can change that."

She took his hand into hers and placed a small box covered in blue velvet in his hands.

"Give this to Samara. It's my love and blessings."

"I will." He smiled, but soon after a realization struck him.

Armaan looked down at the box and wondered. A painful pang took over his heart. He didn't want to tell his mother the truth and take away her happiness.

Maya got up to leave. "I should go now, my flight is in an hour." But before she could take a step forward, Armaan called out to her. He walked closer and wrapped his arms around his mother. She was taken aback by this unexpected gesture, but was equally delighted. Although a little hesitant at first, she hugged him back too. Armaan was quite surprised himself but there was an overpowering voice inside his mind justifying it. He knew his mother was never unaffectionate towards him, but she didn't always express it. He thought that maybe it was time he did it for a change. It was years of unspoken love that took form. Despite whatever happened, there a still a certain kind of comfort he found in the warmth of his mother's embrace.

"I'll keep in touch with you. Tell me whenever you plan on coming to Karachi."

Sooner than you think, he thought to himself.

*******

The lid of the laptop clicked shut and it was kept aside on the table. Armaan sat down, in confusion. His heart was divided into two. One part of it was bruised and torn apart, and the other was slowly healing itself. The conversation with his mother lifted a burden off him that he never even realized existed in the first place. What he had gone through could never be forgotten, but it is never too late to mend broken relationships.

His mind kept wandering towards a territory where everything was a blur or emotions, and it inflicted more pain on the fresh patch of wound. Samara. She had always been so hopeful about things sorting out between him and his parents someday. It was her strong belief in relationships that brought a light of new perspective in his light and made him see things the way he never did before. How unfortunate was it to see that the one to shatter her own beliefs was none other than she herself. But was it really her fault? After pondering upon the same question for days, Armaan came to a conclusion. It wasn't. It was neither of their fault. Fate had played a nasty trick on them by making them unknowingly choose paths that would take them away from each other. Things had come to be at such a point where both were helpless. They couldn't help themselves, they couldn't help each other. There was however, one flicker of hope. One he should have resorted to a lot earlier.

Armaan got up and went to the washroom. He came out, the sleeves of his shirt drenched halfway and water dripping from his chin, and looked through the cupboard. Finally, after a good few minutes of rummaging through the piles of clothes, he found what he was looking for.

For the first time in what seemed like an eternity, Armaan spread the prayer mat and stood in front of the Almighty, his Rabb, to pray.

Indeed, He has the power to heal all wounds.

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I hope this chapter could live up to your expectations!

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