Angels in disguise

Chapter 3

There was a time when Jason got me into listening to the stuff that he likes. I got into listening to Twenty One Pilots and Panic! At the disco. I know that the lyrics of their songs wouldn't be something that my parents would wanna hear, but I just couldn't help it. So I got addicted to their music.
After hearing P!ATD's music for the first time, I found out that they were going to have a concert at the city I live in and also the same city where Jason is from and I texted to him about it.

[Me]
"Hey Jason! I JUST found out that Panic! At the disco is gonna be coming to Vancouver for a concert and I am SOOO excited about it!!! It's gonna be happening just 6 days before my birthday and they're gonna be coming to the area YOU live before they come here.
You better not forget to buy yourself a ticket 'cause you know you'll wanna see them performing too :D
Also, yes, I'm very much enjoying their music"

[Jason]
"Wait are you saying they're coming to our cities for the tour of their album this year? I didn't know that! That's awesome. I'm glad you're liking their songs."

[Me]
"Of course I'm saying that! The concert is going to be A M A Z I N G"

[Jason]
"Absolutely :)"

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Then I watched both versions the movie IT after spending time with having a conversation with Jason about the concerts we're going to.
First, I saw the one that was released in 1990, and then the one that came out in 2017. I kind of enjoyed watching them, but I liked the newer one better than the old one. I couldn't think of a word to say about it. But the new one? I'd rate it five stars if I'd watched on Netflix. The movie wasn't actually on Netflix, so I had no choice but to only watch a full playlist of each clip of it on youtube.

But then I realized I shouldn't be listening to anyone like P!ATD or watch IT far too often, otherwise I might lose faith of believing in God and I just don't want that to happen. My only biggest fear is going to Hell.
I do like all things that are emo, but the thing is, is that I'm struggling with addiction. But it's not just that I'm struggling with.

Sometimes I look at pictures of my friends from my Church and some other people being posted on Instagram and telling how they're more popular than I am. Seeing that just makes me insanely jealous of them that it makes me wanna spend all my money on what every girl around my age is wearing instead of what my mom thinks I should wear, and that explains why I'm really picky with clothes.
She even thinks that most people are wearing clothes from thrift stores which is why she says it's "cheap", but I don't like shopping at a place like that too often because I would get bored of it unless it has something I do wanna buy. So I only prefer making my own choices on what clothes I should buy.
I just wish I didn't have to have the kind of feeling that people get when they looking at someone's picture while they're the ones whom are comparing themselves to the person they're seeing, realizing how cool they are and then they end up getting mad about it 'cause they know that those type of people get more attention than them.

But I know that even if I get addicted to doing something sinful thinking that God can't forgive me for that, I know he still would because I can really feel it in my heart. God's love is the strongest love that I know, and it's very unconditional. That's why I keep coming back to the path of following Christ every time after mistakenly doing wrong things sinfully so that I can allow the Lord to cleanse away those sins with holy water of forgiveness.