3 AM

New York City

"Who the hell flies over 1,000 miles just to go on a date?"
I do.
"You've never even met the girl, you must be out your god damn mind"
Love makes you mad.
"Hope it was worth the $500"
It was. Every damn moment.

June 14, 2018

Today was the day. Knowing why I asked you on a date, nowhere in my soul did I want to actually admit why. Those feelings for you, didn't want to exist in my mind. Yet, once you touched me, once our fingers created an inseparable network as we locked them together, a shock wave rushed through my body affirming that those feelings were there, finally bringing them into the light for good. The way you looked on the subway, your leg over mine, I couldn't help but stare at you as you shut those abysmal brown eyes to rest. Capturing that moment, God's magnum opus right before me. Just being near you was enchantment. Central Park is were we first kissed, during our little picnic up on some rocks eating our "romantic" bagel. We kissed once more when you had to leave me. Your lips were satin. After that day, nothing could stop me from yearning for you, nothing could stop me from telling you what I had repressed for all this time. I wanted to tell you face to face, but seeing you after that day wasn't happening. Something would come up, something would change. Only one option remained, that one option I was hoping to avoid: text you the truth.

So, I did, I confessed to you over text. Pressing send, I threw my phone at my friend walking off. I couldn't face what I knew you'd say. When I returned, my friend told me the news. Taking my phone from her, I read your text. Those very words continue to linger inside my cranium:

"I don't want to date you, I don't really feel any romantic feelings towards you. You're just a really good friend to me"

If only. Maybe one day.