3 AM

Falling

By now, I've gone through who knows how many drafts. Whether they were written down or just rushing around in my head. At the time of my very first mark on this paper writing the very first letter of this, we've known each other going on four years now. It's a Monday morning for me, 12:44 AM to be exact. I can't remember the date, but I'm laying in my bed wide awake because once my head hits the pillow, all I can think about is you, you, you.

I knew I liked you when you made me nervous, and my heart would beat faster when we would talk. I knew I loved you when I finally just surrendered, when I finally put that wall down and set myself free. From the moment I met you, my soul begged of me to make you mine. It was as if in that moment, I discovered something amazing, and I did. It was a love that brought me down to my knees with prayers full of gratitude, because this love was a privilege. An honor. Through the good, the bad, and the ugly. Whether we were fighting, sad, in tears, going through a rough patch in life or together, whatever the case was, it was beautiful. All of it. Every raw, real emotion that I felt, that you felt. Everything. Absolutely everything. Yes, there's only so much the internet can allow. But. It wasn't an illusion. An illusion is a trick. How can something that's perceived as false be felt so deep within your soul? Be so intense that you feel it running through your veins consuming your entire being? No, it wasn't an illusion. Because I felt everything. I felt the love, I felt the pain.