Vander Series: BEEN IGNORED

Chapter 8

Im wearing a plain black dress. Ito yung sinuot ko ng una kaming linabas ni Von. This is the last time i would wear this dress.

"Ma'am aalis napo tayo" tawag sakin ni Mang Garry kaya naman bumaba nako.

I didn't saw Von since the day that Vanna died. I know it's also hard for him. I understand if his blaming me for the lost of Vanna but i did my best but i guess my best wasn't enough to save my child.

Nakasakay nako sa kotse at hinahatid nako sa cemetery kung saan ililibing si Vanna. My eyes is already watering because of the idea that i won't ever see my strawberry again. How can be the world so cruel. Sana ako nalang yung kinuha niya. Vanna is too young to suffer like this.

After 30 minutes nakarating na kami ni Mang Garry at bilang lang ang nandito.

Mama at Papa ni Von pati narin yung driver nila Ako at si Von. Pati nung bininyagan namin si Vanna walang katao tao sa simbahan.

"How did this happen Arriane?"I cried when Mother's Von asked me.

"Im so sorry...i didn't mean all of this...i love my child please don't accuse me"I said while sobbing.

"No dear...it's okay Im sorry"

Tahimik lang kaming umiiyak habang nagsasalita ang pastor sa harap katabi ng labi ni Vanna. Hindi ko nakayanan at lumapit ako sa kabaong and there i saw again. My daughter, my strawberry who's lying inside the coffin without life. I'd never imagine that this time would come.

"Vanna please wake up mommy's hear....Mom is here strawberry"sabi ko at malakas na humagulgol.

Naramdaman ko na parang may humawak sakin paalis sa kabaong ng anak ko at napatingin ako it was Von.

"Let the preacher finish besides you have nothing to do with this. Vanna's gone because of you"sabi niya at tuluyan nakong hinila palayo sa kabaong ni Vanna.

Sinimulan ng ipasok sa loob ng sementadong kahon ang anak ko.

"No please....wag niyong isara baka lalabas pa anak ko!"sigaw ko dun sa mga lalaking akmang isasara na ang sementadong kahon na pinaglagyan ng kabaong ni Vanna.

Tumakbo ako papalapit sa kabaong ng anak ko.

"Vanna im sorry...i really sorry strawberry kung saan ka naman ngayon baby i still love you... strawberry mommy's gonna miss you so much.... I love you my strawberry!"pagkatapos kong sabihin yun ay humagulgol ako ng iyak.

***

Vanna's burial is already done and i we went home also.

Ng makarating kami sa bahay ni Von ay pinark niya ang kotse sa garahe at diretsong lumabas na para bang wala siyang kasama.

It's already afternoon I need to cook lunch for us.

I tied my hair and wear an apron then i open the refrigerator to see what possible food i can cook but it turns out that strawberry is the first thing i saw when i opened the ref and by that my tears is starting to escape again.

I just cook chicken curry because it is the only meal i could think of and im good of.

After i finished cooking and preparing the table i went upstairs to invite Von. I knocked at his door and luckily it opened.

"What do you want?"He coldly asked me

"Let's have a lunch—"

"You can eat by yourself. Now get the hell out of here!"He exclaimed and bang the door really hard.

Nanlulumo akong bumaba papuntang kusina at kumaing mag isa. Why is he being like that?im trying to bring back my courage but he is putting me down. He's saying physically that your the one who killed my child but i guess it is already destined that this is gonna happen. Why so cruel?

Pagkatapos kong kumain kinuha ko yung strawberries na nakita ko sa ref at kinain.

"I'll try Vanna. Mommy's will try to be strong as you wish"I said to myself when i ate the strawberry because there's something in this that gives me strength as if im kissing my strawberry.

I washed the dishes and went to the dining area to watch some entertaining movies.

***

I found myself waking up from the couch i guess i did sleep here. I glanced at the father clock and my eyes widened when i saw the hands are in 9 and to be exact it's already 9 o'clock in the evening. Hindi naman siguro ako ganun katagal natulog diba? 2pm i guess to 9pm. 7 hours of sleeping 1 more hour at makokompleto ko na ang minimum sleeping hours everyday.

Umakyat ako sa taas para icheck si Von.

Pinihit ko ang pinto ng kwarto niya at bukas ito at mukha ring walang tao. Saan nanaman nagpunta ang lalaking yun? Gabing gabi na gumagala pa.

Maganda din pala ang kwarto ni Von kahit na lalaki siya. Kadalasan kasing mga lalaki ngayon hindi ko nilalahat ay talagang magulo...lumapit ako dun sa study table niya at as always puno ng files at may nakita akong maliit na picture frame na nakatumba kaya tiningnan ko ito. At ewan ko pero biglang nanubig ang mata ko. It was picture of Vanna and me playing her blocks at halatang stolen ito kasi may mga blur part siya.

Hindi nako nagtagal sa kwarto niya at lumabas na agad baka abotan niya pako at malilintikan nanaman ako sa lalaking yun.

I won't lose hope for the both of us Von. I still love you like the way before. Please don't hate me.