✔️ 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐆𝐎 → ℎ. 𝑝𝑜𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑡𝑤𝑖𝑛 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑦

26 | L E T T E R

don't forget about me,
even when I doubt you,                
I'm no good without you.
        No.

   "YOU KNEW IT! How could you — ? I had a right to —"

   They'd brought enough space between the gate were Sirius had finally left them and themselves, walking through the crowded streets of Hogsmeade now. Since they'd reached the foot of the mountain, the hurt of this injustice was boiling under Ember's skin, and soon enough the hurt was replaced by a burning incensement that was addling her mind. Her breath was coming in rags, and it had nothing to do with the endeavour of their journey.

   Her narrowed eyes wandered from Hermione, over Ron, and finally rested on Harry, who looked back at her with nothing but pleading in his eyes.

   "Why, yes, we did", he finally admitted. "But we had reasons not to tell you!"

   "Ah, so you had reasons!", Ember scoffed, crossing her arms. "That's of course a proper excuse for what you've done, Harry!"

   "Emmie, I —"

   "What?", she snapped, furrowing her eyebrows. "You wanted to shelter me? You didn't want me to be sad or disappointed?" She shook her head. "For Merlin's sake, you can't save me from everything! And I would have preferred to be just disappointed about my godfather being a traitorous rat, because now - now I am disappointed by you, and that is worse than anything!"

   "Em, he is a traitor, he is the reason Mom and Dad have been murdered!", Harry fiercely replied. "I didn't want you to know, because I saw no need to know! This man lost every right to be a godfather, and I don't even see why you care!"

   "Of course you don't understand, because once again the joke is on me!", Ember now half-yelled, her blood only boiling more. "You have a wonderful godfather! It's just like back then when we've been kids and you had to clean Uncle Vernon's car, while I had to scrub the toilet after Dudley ate a whole ton of plump pudding! From every misery we get in, it's me having it worse, and if there's finally a good thing happening, it is happening to you! And you have no right to save me, because I am pro at handling bad news, believe me! No!", she added as Harry opened his mouth. "Nuh-oh! You know what? I don't want to hear! Just leave me alone ..."

   Stomping down the crowded street, she heard nothing but the blood rushing through her ears, her eyes didn't see anything but her feet hitting the ground, being trapped in a tunnel type vision. Quickly she brought more and more steps between her and her brother, trying to calm down. Goosebumps popping up on her skin, having nothing to do with this cold day at the end of February.

   She'd already felt it while talking, and right now she felt it slowly fading, though it was still creepily present. The same wrath she had felt before punching Malfoy was pulsing through her veins like hot lava, and this wrath was slowly mixing with a fear she could not describe. Those feelings were utterly new and they had a frightening intensity she'd never felt before. Because what she'd just told Harry, she never under any circumstances would have done. She didn't even mean it! Since when did she care about just getting second best? But a raging voice in the back of her head kept telling her that she'd just done right, that Harry deserved it, and this voice wouldn't shut up, no matter how much Ember told it that this wasn't true.

   She didn't remember anything from her way back to the castle, only her terrifying thoughts kept still dancing through her mind. So when Ember reached the Hufflepuff common room, her eyes fell on a bunch of parchment and a quill, and it felt like a kick in the guts. Well, of her godfather wasn't a filthy murderer, she would have sat down by the table and write a long letter about how she felt; she could ask for advice, she could cry her heart out to someone, there would be someone she could ask what's wrong with her —

   Her eyes suddenly grew large. Of course! How could she not consider this way sooner? Okay, maybe because it was a bit maverick after all, but then again he had offered her, so why not take it? Before she could lose a second thought of doubt about it, Ember had already grabbed a piece of parchment and the quill. She didn't waste time on a salutation. She didn't talk around the bush. No, Ember wanted answers, and she wanted them now.

   Why haven't you told me about Peter Pettigrew? Why haven't you told me, he's my godfather? Just for once I need someone not to lie to me!

   She was about to place the quill back on the table, when she halted mid motion, staring down at the words for a while, before breathing slowly out and dipping the tip into the ink once more.

   PS: I fear there's something wrong with me.

   The owlery had always been one of Ember's favourite places at Hogwarts. Those animals had something majestic, also soothing. When she entered, Hedwig immediately landed on her shoulder, stretching out her leg, ready to do her job, and Ember fixated the letter. For a moment she just stood there in the doorway of the owlery, her fingers softly caressing over Hedwig's smooth feathering, before she signalled the snowy owl to fly off.

   "I know there's no address on it, but you'll find him, will you?", she whispered, and Hedwig replied in a quiet shoo. The weight of Ember's shoulder was taken away as the owl took off, flying into the slowly setting sun, and Ember watched her with a miserable feeling, as what she'd thrown at Harry slowly dropped. Sighing, she threw a last gaze at the envelope, watching longingly at the name written on it, until Hedwig was too far away.

R. J. Lupin

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